Man accused of hiding lobster in pants

The Courier Mail (Australia) ^ | February 15, 2006

[Shermy]

THERE aren't too many people who could get away with hiding a whole lobster down the front of their pants.

Craig Simpson gave it a red hot go, but ended up in handcuffs in the Brisbane Magistrate's Court yesterday.

As well as the lobster, the 35-year-old from East Brisbane crammed 1kg of prawns down the front of his trousers at an inner-city supermarket on Monday.

He was charged with unauthorised dealing with shop goods after he was seen stuffing the crustaceans into his pants before walking out of the store without paying for them.

Prosecutor Sergeant Henri Rantala said police approached Simpson who told them if he had had bigger pockets, he would have stolen more.

Sgt Rantala asked that Simpson be ordered to repay the cost of the prawns and the lobster - neither of which could be returned to the store's shelves.

Simpson represented himself in court where he pleaded guilty to the charge.

Magistrate Jacqui Payne ordered Simpson to pay the supermarket $35 for the seafood, and fined him $250.

[funkywbr]

I once got a crawfish up my pants leg, I cant imagine a LOBSTER!~}

[pissant]

OUCH!!!

[ApplegateRanch]

I've known (no, NOT that way!) a few gals who always walk around with a little red snapper & some crabs in their pants.

[ApplegateRanch]

>>"Trying to get rid of his crabs I bet"<<

This has the makings of a recording:

There was an old man who stuffed a fly in his pants.
I don't know why he stuffed that fly!

There was on an old man, who stuffed a spider in his pants;
He stuffed the spider to eat the fly; I don't know why he stuffed the fly!

............

There was an old man wh stuffed a lobster in his pants.
He stuffed the lobster to eat the eel ....
...to eat the spider...to eat the fly...

Now he's been jailed as a mobster.

[Hi Heels]

...and you're not HERE?????

[ApplegateRanch]

"I did NOT have sexual relations with that Lobster..."

Very fickle relationship:

Hake today, gar tomorrow.

[Larry Lucido]

Is that a lobster in your pants or are you just crabby to see me?

[GSWarrior]

A lobster in the pants?

I wouldn't wish that on my worst anemone.

[pissant]

I DID stop by already, thankyouverymuch!!

[OB1kNOb]

Well, that's one thing I can say I've never been accused of having in my pants.

A one-eyed sea monster, yes......but a lobster, never.

[reagan_fanatic]

I guess if it had wiggled around too much down there, he could've just stabbed it with a fork.

[Dewy]

AL Gore got caught did-ee.

[Nam Vet]

This guy ran an ad in the local paper that read...

WANTED TO TRADE . . . ONE BLIND CRAB FOR TWO WITH NO TEETH !

Nam Vet

[ansel12]

"MAN THOUGHT TO HAVE LOBSTER IN PANTS TURNED OUT TO ONLY HAVE CRABS."

good one

[birbear]

Man accused of hiding lobster in pants

Is that what he calls his? I named mine Daffy.

[birbear]

Shell we discuss this? I don't marine to be down on the guy, but I hope his insurance has a special liability claws.

Stop it! You're giving me a haddock.

[VadeRetro]

A young lad who'd stolen a lobster
Tried hiding it next to his knobster.
That delighted his gang,
Though it clamped on his thang,
And now he's a d***less old mobster!

[LibertarianInExile]

Why do I suspect this is all the result of a pillow talk session gone awry? His girlfriend probably told him she wanted to be more SELFISH in bed...

...and he heard "shellfish."

[LibertarianInExile]

Xenalyte, married?

[sobbing]

Ah, well, one less daydream. 8)

[Xenalyte]

Yep! Done got hitched back in September, the weekend before Rita came through and canceled Festival dress rehearsal. It was HOT, and fun!