How To Torpedo A First Date

cbs ^ | 2-4-06

[F16Fighter]

"First Date"??

A lady wearing Birkenstocks, sweats, chipped nail polish, talking with cigarette in mouth, swearing during the first few minutes of conversation, and then ordering a Jack Daniels...

Lol, what a TURN ON!

[Flavius Josephus]

In New York, go to a deli, buy half a mortadella.

But I thought it was supposed to be a SALAMI! So, I always go to the deli and buy half a salami. Then on the date, I say "Let's play HIDE THE SALAMI!" Then I stuff it down my pants. But then the girl always says she has to go. I couldn't figure it out, but now I get it, it's supposed to be a MORTADELLA! I can't wait to try it. Bet it works now!

[phantomworker]

Hey! I appreciate you guys planning my future for me. At least ping me so I can have some input and have my house packed before I move! OK? LOL!

[Flavius Josephus]

Groping is BAD! Yeah, I know. Seriesly, also don't make out with a woman on the first date. I have had a number of them that were willing to do it, but they never went out with me again. One woman tried to slip me the tongue on the first date, I made it a chaste goodnight kiss, and we were hot and heavy for the next six months.

[Flavius Josephus]

We were happy for four years. Then... we weren't.

I've codified those relationship stages. It's fun, then it isn't fun, then it starts to hurt, then it's time to go.

[bannie]

Don't say, "It's all for you, baby."

[phantomworker]

OK, I need to clear this up. I do not "date" married men. In my field I have lots of male friends and men that I work with. It just gets me a little irked, when I go out to coffee or lunch to discuss work, as is customary in many professional fields, a guy brings up how bad his marriage is!!! This is where I, for one, will then zap you with my laser gun!

What the heck does a "date" mean anyway anymore?

[Millee]

LOLOL!!!

[Fruitbat]

I'll tell ya what's a dating turnoff from this guy's perspective although I've been married for nearly a decade. It's women that expect to have sex after the second date and are willing to go nearly that far on the first date. Even in the '90s it seemed that you couldn't just go out and find out about each other. I'm certainly not unattractive nor were the women I dated, and some were very nice otherwise. But the expectation these days is almost that you have to have sex at some point in the dating relationship.

Some guys reading this I'm sure think I'm nuts, and frankly, for guys looking for a temp relationship with "sexual benefits," I'm sure it is.

A couple of the women that I dated back then quit dating me b/c I wouldn't have sex with them early in the relationship. Nice and attractive girls, just very needy in that way apparently. Others asked me why I didn't think they were attractive when I told them they were.

Is this where women find their value these days as women, in whether or not men will have sex with them as the basis for a validation of their attractiveness? Apparently so, at least by my experiences.

I dated on girl who I specifically told I just wanted to have fun together and to not misconstrue that as a lack of romantic interest. I also specifically told her that I did not want to be physically involved. On the second date, we're at her place, and she comes out of the bathroom after excusing herself for a few minutes, in lingerie and then jumps on top of me. Needless to say, I'm human and man, but in hindsight, I didn't appreciate it.

At the time, and after some "intimate dating" myself, I figured women would love to date a guy that didn't want to have sex immediately. I found out that I was entirely wrong.

I don't get it! Women bitch that all men want to have sex and they just want to have fun, but by my somewhat extensive experiences, I've found the opposite to be true, at least practically speaking. Is it that we have so little self control in our society that our basest instincts always overcome our moral desires?

Anyone can feel free to chime in...

[Slings and Arrows]

My pleasure.

[Fruitbat]

Are you one of the female horndogs... ; )

[phantomworker]

You know what, Fruitbat, many marriages fail because of bad sex. From what I have heard, and I am not an expert, btw, having sex is a normal and natural part of life. I hope that your marriage is going well in that respect.

[Fruitbat]

It's phenominal in that respect, couldn't really be better in fact. In fact, my wife and I remained celibate for the year and a half we were dating or thereabouts before we got married.

Factual data however reveals that the divorce rates for couples that didn't have premarital sex are significantly lower.

I have to tell ya, for me it just got old. It seemed that dating had become a roulette wheel of sexual activity, at least if you would allow it, rather than just getting to know someone deeply and paving the way for a friendship instead of a relationship that had to be severed (likely) once it broke up and your partner dated another [read began having sex w/ another].

It added a lot of tension as well. But I guess I'm just trying to reconcile all of the people, friends of girls, other girls, girls that I've dated, etc. that say that they just "want to date a nice guy w/o the issue of sex looming over them" in other words usually, with the reality that once you're on your second date, and often in spite of your direct preferences to the contrary, the clothes start flying off like lies out of Michael Moore's mouth.

[Slings and Arrows]

Are you one of the female horndogs... ; )

Convex, not concave.

[Fruitbat]

BTW, "bad sex" is relative. How many people that had sex their first time will say that it was the best ever. The people that I know that are the most satisfied with their sexual lives are those that have developed together and grown together in that respect. I can certainly say that was the case with us.

There is also an emotional element to sex that is tremendously undervalued that I've not even mentioned yet. In "animal sex," which is about all you have when you have sex with someone you barely know, that element simply isn't there.

But the point is that sex can be "worked on" if that's an issue in a marriage. And if a partner isn't willing to "work on it," then I dare say that's a trait that has nothing to do with sex that could have easily been detected long before nuptials and without having had sex. Honestly, it's a simple matter of communication.

[Fruitbat]

Yeah, I figured. Just screwin' w/ ya. No pun intended. :D

[Dashing Dasher]

Tonight is the night - I'll let you know!

[Dashing Dasher]

Exactly right.

[Dashing Dasher]

The term date can refer to:

• Calendar date, a day on a calendar
• The fruit of the Date Palm
• A social outing with a current or potential lover, see courtship.
• Christopher J. Date, an author and researcher specializing in relational database technology.
• Date (metadata), a representation term or class associated with a data element
• Date (Unix), a Unix command
• Date, Hokkaido, a Japanese city
• Date, Fukushima, a Japanese town
• Date District, Fukushima, a Japanese district
• Drug, Alcohol, and Tobacco Education, a substance abuse program in some U.S. schools
• DaTe, a student association at Åbo Akademi University (Turku, Finland).
• Radiometric dating is a family of techniques used to determine of the approximate period of origin of an object.
• The Date clan, a Japanese feudal clan from the Sengoku period.

[phantomworker]

LOL!!! I love it. Thanks!