Naked man attacks motorists

KARE-TV NEWS ^ | 2-3-2006

[Cagey]

Authorities in central Wisconsin had no trouble locating the suspect after getting a call about a pedestrian attacking two moving cars. He was the one with no clothes.

The Shawano County Sheriff's Department says the first complaint came in just after 9:30 this morning after a woman driving on the Wittenberg-Birnamwood Townline Road encountered a naked man walking in the road.

As she drove around him, he charged the vehicle, hit the right fender and jumped on the hood, smashing the windshield and breaking off the passenger side mirror.

He slid off and was lying on the road but got up into a football-type stance and charged a second vehicle as it approached, damaging a fender.

He then opened the door, climbed in the vehicle and sat down.

The sheriff's department says Wittenberg Ambulance personnel got to the scene ahead of sheriff's deputies and had no trouble with the man.

The 42-year-old man, who lives in the Wittenberg area, was taken in for medical treatment and psychological assessment. His name was not released.

Any NFL scouts on this forum?

[Cagey]

but got up into a football-type stance and charged a second vehicle as it approached, damaging a fender.

Any NFL scouts on this forum?

[Cagey]

See anything unusual on the road today?

[pissant]

Was he wearing a cup?

[trubluolyguy]

Hmmm, if he had made the mistake of attacking my car. They would still be sponging what was left of him off the road.

[andy58-in-nh]

but got up into a football-type stance and charged a second vehicle as it approached, damaging a fender.

I'll bet it was a three-point stance. ;-)

[Cagey]

LOL!

[retrokitten]

This reminds me of something that happened to my coworker. She was driving some place with her 90+ year old grandmother and her grandmother's friend. They got stuck in traffic because of some police activity up ahead.

As they got closer my coworker could see a little up the road that there was this naked man being detained by the police. They hadn't covered him up or anything. She decided to avoid complete embarrassment she would just stare straight, keep silent, and keep driving.

Her grandmother glanced up and was watching the police talk to this man. After a few seconds of silence the grandmother said very matter-of-factly, "Did you see that naked man? It looked like a button."

[Cagey]

"Did you see that naked man? It looked like a button."

That's hilarious. We too often forget that older folks are not as embarrassed by things as we might think they are.

[Constitution Day]

football-type stance

[GSWarrior]

... jumped on the hood, smashing the windshield and breaking off the passenger side mirror. He slid off...

[Cagey]

[Constitution Day]

Pigskin-headed!

[Danae]

Tweekers I am telling you.....

[retrokitten]

Her grandmother is a complete character. She lived in an apartment and the girl upstairs was about 25ish and average size. The grandmother was angry because she said the girl "walked too heavy."

She took it out on my co-worker one day: "That's the problem with you young people- you're always walking around in those big-soled shoes. She needs to get her some house shoes or sit the hell down!"

[RockinRight]

Why do hot, young, college-age women never do this?