Max's Weekend Movie Review - Jurassic Park

Max's Movie Review | 12/5/05 | Max

[Maximus of Texas]

It’s been almost 13 years since its release but this is one of those movies that no matter how often it is on, I still will stop and watch it. AMC has been showing it a lot the past few weeks and it was on again last night so, as is the usual practice, stopped and watched a good portion of it. As with all my lame reviews, here is a chance for Freepers to make comments, share memories, etc. of the movie.

My comments:

1. Why Laura Dern to play the female lead? If Denise Richards can play a scientist in a Bond movie, why couldn’t they pick a real babe to play the role of a paleobotanist?
2. Jeff Goldblum’s character is perfect for him. My wife loves it when he plays the brainy, somewhat edgy character. His “must go faster, must go faster” in Jurassic Park is repeated by his character in Independence Day.
3. In that same scene, where the T-Rex is seen in the side mirror of the jeep and the “Objects are closer than they appear” is seen in the mirror, that same scene is duplicated in Toy Story.
4. Dinosaurs are reptiles and reptiles are the only creatures that continue to grow its entire life, which, during the time of the dinosaurs, would explain their huge size (early biblical records show people living 800 years, etc. Let an alligator grow for 800 years and think of what you might get). With that said, they don’t explain the quick growth of the dinosaurs. Also, wouldn’t have someone discovered this place early? Hard to hide huge herds of dinosaurs to planes flying overhead.
5. Seinfield’s “Newman” creeps me out in this movie. Pudgy little fingers all over the keyboard and then the thought of that raptor having a huge meal at the expense of Newman’s gut….
6. Why didn’t Richard Attenborough use some of his tunnel digging experience he picked up on The Great Escape to get away from the dinosaurs?

[PaulaB]

I took my kids to see Harry Potter-Goblet Of Fire this weekend...

1. Why do movies promote kids cussing as they get older??

2. Why do movies promote boys looking at girls tooshes as they get older??

[najida]

Well,
A girl can dream, can't she ;)

[wideawake]

Thanks, didn't know her name.

I just remember watching the movie and either she had a scene with Jeff Goldblum or immediately after a Goldblum scene, and I was thinking: "Wow. Goldblum is just such an awful actor and she's really good - if he's watching this he should be cringing with embarrassment."

[Maximus of Texas]

Doesn't help when they let the female character walk around like this:

[wideawake]

(1) I don't know.

(2) There's no need to promote it. They will do it whether they see people in movies doing it or not.

[wideawake]

Is that a real pic? What possible context was this in?

[Maximus of Texas]

It was a hilarious skit done on Saturday Night Live a year or so ago. The pic is real. That is Lindsey Lohan.

[wideawake]

Oh, I think I heard about that one. Is that the one where they told her that a spell required her to touch her elbows behind her back or something?

[SoothingDave]

1. Why do movies promote kids cussing as they get older??

Probably cause kids cuss as they get older.

2. Why do movies promote boys looking at girls tooshes as they get older??

Cause they wiggle when they walk.

SD

[PaulaB]

There's no need to promote it. They will do it whether they see people in movies doing it or not.

Ya but movies make it look cool to do such a thing.
I am trying to teach my boys to be Godly men
not horn dogs chasing every skirt that passes

[Maximus of Texas]

Yeah, and they had her look through a giant magnify glass, which was held so they could magnify a certain part of her body.

[SoothingDave]

I just remember watching the movie and either she had a scene with Jeff Goldblum or immediately after a Goldblum scene, and I was thinking: "Wow. Goldblum is just such an awful actor and she's really good - if he's watching this he should be cringing with embarrassment."

Jeff Goldblum is Michael Richards with a better agent.

SD

[Dashing Dasher]

Go away.


That was the stupidest review EVER - even stupider than your list one. Keep up the good work (/sarc)!


;-)

[Maximus of Texas]

Wait until you see next week's review. It gets worse. It's a movie about planes and pilots.

[SoothingDave]

And Rachel Dratch plays a perfect Harry Potter.

SD

[justshutupandtakeit]

Appreciating the beauty of God's creations is not un-godly.
Few of them are more beautiful than a beautiful woman. And looking is not chasing.

[Maximus of Texas]

[scan58]

"I always thought it was Kristen Dunst playing that role."

You're thinking of "Jumanji".

[Maximus of Texas]

That was on this weekend, too. Good movie. If it shows up next weekend, I'll review that.

[Dashing Dasher]

Seen it.

If you really want to visit the ends of the earth when it comes to moviedom...

Try to locate a copy of "Cloud Dancer". It is the ONLY movie ever made about competition aerobatics and it is a cult classic among the 2000 of us who have seen it.

The flying sequences are awesome and I know all of the stunt pilots in it (that are still above ground, if you know what I mean).

It's also the worst movie in the history of talking pictures. David Carridine plays the flawed hero. Jennifer O'Neill plays his love interest.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080545/

I've seen it a dozen times. Now we just heckle and laugh! It's our "Rocky Horror".