Parody ZOT of Free Republic

[tuliptree76]

I miss a lot on these threads, mostly because of work. That's why memos are required.

[NicknamedBob]

"what are incongruities?"

One, two, three, four, five , six, orange, eight, nine ...

Diamonds, clubs, hearts, livers, spades, posthole diggers ...

Stars, planets, moons, umbrellas ...

[King Prout]

the best you can get is tailored jammies in aluminumized kevlar. see fireman suppliers

[Baraonda]

Mercy.

now I know it's an enumeration of anachronistic thengs.

[Irish_Thatcherite]

Can you over feed a black widow?

[King Prout]

ooo!
the SPCA and PETA will come after you for that!

[Darksheare]

I dunno, haven't run across one to try and find out yet.

[Irish_Thatcherite]

the SPCA and PETA will come after you for that!

Good, PETA women are always naked.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

You want a joke? Ok.

A man and his wife were visiting Eisenach for the first time. Their tour guide Rudolph was a former member of the East Germany communist party. The husband and the guide argued about every thing. Politics, food, religion, you name it they argued about it.

Finally on their last day as they were going to the airport a freezing rain began to fall.

"Look" said Rudolph, "it's raining."

"No it isn't" said the husband, "It's sleeting."

"No,it raining." "Sleeting!"

"Raining!"

Back and forth they bickered until finally the wife said to her husband, "Rudolph the red knows rain dear."

:

:

:

I never said it was a good joke.

[Irish_Thatcherite]

All I know is she kills her husband!

[Irish_Thatcherite]

It will do!!

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Yeah but it would do the trick.

Not sure what you would do with a blind duck though.

[Baraonda]

But it's cute, clean joke that can be told to adult audiences as well as to children.

[Darksheare]

Male funnelweb spider has to go and pluck the females web.
If she is interested, she plucks the thread in return.
Otherwise, he's lunch.
(I proably screwed it up a bit, but as best as I can remember it.)

Funnelweb spiders have terrible eyesight and will run right past prey on their webs if it sits still.

[King Prout]

um... most PETA females are not on the good side of the aesthetic bellcurve distribution's median

[tuliptree76]

the best you can get is tailored jammies in aluminumized kevlar. see fireman suppliers

I still have the kevlar bra, long underwear, and chastity belt.

[NicknamedBob]

"the best you can get is tailored jammies in aluminumized kevlar."

Well, that certainly sounds nice ...

[King Prout]

UNNGH!!!

[King Prout]

Not sure what you would do with a blind duck though

badminton practice, naturally

[Irish_Thatcherite]

Male funnelweb spider has to go and pluck the females web.

Male human has to offer a female a drink.

If she is interested, she plucks the thread in return. Otherwise, he's lunch.

If she is interested, she accepts the offer. Otherwise she tells him to take a hike.