Posted on 10/19/2005 8:42:55 PM PDT by Mo1
A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk,
"Are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk answers, "Yes, I am."
So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?"
The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus."
The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer.
He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus my brother?"
The drunk again answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus."
By this time the preacher is at his wits' end and dunks the drunk in the water again --- but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God have you found Jesus?"
The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
Good Evening...
Spywitness News
With G.P.S., “The Man” knows where you are and how long you stopped for lunch. WABC reporters now watched by their bosses.
By Selim Algar
Reporters at WABC-TV want to know why their bosses have lately decided to track them. The station began to install Global Positioning System tracking technology in its mobile news trucks last month, and now an eye in the sky sees the trucks’ every move. It’s made the reporters wonder just what they’ve done wrong. “Let’s just say people are pretty pissed off,” said one longtime on-air Channel 7 reporter. “We were never really consulted, and the whole Big Brother aspect has us uncomfortable.” Others raised more practical concerns.
“If I stop to get a slice for lunch, am I going to be timed?” asked a cameraman. “It’s just a weird feeling to know that you’re being watched all day, everywhere you go. No one wants that.” ABC isn’t unusually suspicious of its employees: Spokesmen for the local affiliates of NBC and CBS both acknowledged that they are considering similar technology for their news fleets.
Gene Maxwell, president of nabet Local 16, a union representing WABC employees, has received assurances that the tracking system will simply improve the station’s ability to deploy vehicles to breaking-news scenes, and “won’t be used for disciplinary measures.” One veteran cameraman scoffed at that rationale. “I know the streets better than any computer program, believe me,” he said. In addition to location, WABC’s chosen tracking system, AirLink, can also monitor vehicle speed and idling time.
The company’s Website assures would-be clients that the technology effectively combats “unauthorized vehicle use” and results in “reduced side trips.” “It’s not like we’re out here driving to Atlantic City during lunch,” groused the cameraman. They are not grousing in isolation. Earlier this month, New York City cabbies massed to protest the installation of similar devices in their cars, arguing that the move violated their privacy rights. WABC had no comment.
That's funny. :)
*!!!*
Electrocuted during baptism? Is that called ironic?
Yes, I am the middle kid, and one of two 'older siblings' from sis point of view.
The eldest of us is somewhat.. well.. we assume he's mutated into human form from something horrible.
Probably just forgot to light a voltave candle...
That's easy.
I'm the one who is easier to get along with.
Despite the soul eating and all that..
;-)
My pumpkin was too cool. Thanks.
I saved it to my machine..
;-)
Yes.
I really am the nice brother..
Ask sis.
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