Posted on 09/29/2005 7:13:57 PM PDT by hispanarepublicana
AUSTIN (AP) - A Texas grand jury on Wednesday indicted a ham sandwich and two side dishes on charges of conspiracy in a blue plate special scheme, forcing the featured menu item to temporarily relinquish its relished post despite the fact that the charges mayo or mayo not stick.
"I have done nothing wrong. ... Olive us are innocent, just lettuce prove it," the sandwich told a Capitol Hill news conference during which he criticized the Texas prosecutor, Ronnie Earle, repeatedly. The sandwich said the charges amounted to "a bunch of baloney."
With a rye expression, Earle told reporters, "Our job is to prosecute abuses of power and to bring those abuses to the public." He has noted previously that he has prosecuted many hoagies and poboys in the past.
Chefs at the Capitol Grille selected tuna salad with Cool Whip - No. 3 in the menu favorites ranks as a temporary sandwich filling.
Other menu items expressed their backing for the ham sandwich, the first daily special to be indicted in at least a century.
A visiting Italian official also expressed confidence. "I cannelloni say that hes got a tough crust, and he can take it. He will fight this and soon itll all be a thing of the past-a," said Minister Oni, the soup of the day.
The ham sandwich said he was certain the indictment would be dismissed and shrugged off the charges as an open-faced lie any way you slice it.
Here's what the dill is: it looks like the potato chips are down, but these lies will ketchup to Earle, the sandwich said, vowing that he would rise to the occasion to fight the charges. "There's no time to loaf. We've got to spread the truth."
Would that be Land-O-DeLay butter of which you speak?
That brand's the real deal, not some fake, mamby pamby margarine spread. ;-)
Yes, if they're expensive. And supersize it. ;-)
Love that (o). He certainly is.
Has a lot of linked info also:
http://texasrainmaker.blogspot.com/2005/09/tom-delay-indicted-via-austin-american.html
Well Texas did impeach a governor and convicted him of spending too much money on chicken salad:
http://www.tsha.utexas.edu/handbook/online/articles/CC/jrc1.html
ROFLMAO.
I hear Kerry has weighed in on the sandwich indictment. So there's a French Dip involved, too. I suppose this indictment really comes down to the sandwich not being a member of the right club. However the case goes against this ham sandwich, I'm sure that Ronnie Earle will be bacon in hell for his abuse of the system.
Me too, anybody remember this Hammer versus the Ham Sandwich segment?
*groan*
(grin)
*groan* (excellent)
tftp -
In regards to Kerry, that would be French dipsh*t.
That show was the funniest half hour ever put on TV.
LOL! The Earle of Sandwich, or Baloney?
Thanks!:^)
Effervescent and Delightful!
You should send it to the newspapers!
It's superbly funny
"When the hamsandwich is acquitted, will the DA want some cheese with his whine?" He has a preference for Swiss Cheese or was that Blue Cheese
I like it!
If the ham sandwich is convicted, he'll end up being Spam in a can.
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