Posted on 08/08/2005 10:42:02 PM PDT by Mo1
Crimson And Clover
(T. James/P. Lucia)
Ah, now I don't hardly know her
But I think I could love her
Crimson and clover
Ah when she comes walking over
Now I've been waitin' to show her
Crimson and clover over and over
Yeah, my, my such a sweet thing
I wanna do everything
What a beautiful feeling
Crimson and clover over and over
Crimson and clover over and over
Crimson and clover over and over
Crimson and clover over and over
Crimson and clover over and over
*shrug* I nearly took out a couple Marine MP's once...
I'd love to know how, when, where, and why "crimson and clover" came to mean 'everything is fine'.
I'd also love to know the same about "5 by 5" meaning the same, sorta.
"Everything is on the level/squared away" more accurately.
Would be interesting to see where those terms came from.
Obviously, 'crimson and clover' comes from that song.
But '5 by 5'?
And what they were sued to mean?
*shrugs*
Golfing?
*ouch!*
I don't think girls are much worse than boys, thank you.
I became a step-father to my daughter when she was 16.
Couldn't possibly be any harder.. wait.
My daughter and I were friends before I married her mom.
So I guess that would make that a special case child rearing wise.
Right?
My brotehr and his daughter..
My brother is laying on the couch sorta asleep.
Mom walks in and says to daughter "Honey, don't write on daddy."
Daughter lok sat her mom and says, "Why?"
My brother had marker on him from his daughter scribbling on him.
(She does love her daddy, try to get him away from her and your ears will be in another state applying for the witness protection program.)
5 by 5 is pecfect radio reception with one number being signal strength, and the other being fredom from distortion/clarity. 5 by 5 is loud and clear...
My one good stroke of the day, from a few yard short of the green, completely over the green, over the rough, barely clearing the fence, across the street at mid windshield level 2 feet in front of an MP jeep, driver had the window down, a small fraction of a second later it would have nailed him square on the temple, and the resulting accident would have likely killed them both.
They both visibly twitched as it streaked by...
With boys, there's only the one penis to worry about...
Every case is a special case.
Analog dial CB/ham radio days?
Now I'm curious.
funkle
Golf ball artillery strike.
LOL!
Darn you!
Yes ham exclusively as far as I know on CB it was 10-9 (Huh?)...
SHEEEEESH....MEN!!!! Figures.
Yug, 10-9.. oddly, I never recall Dad saying that on the CB.
Congratulations! You are now the proud new owner of a teenaged daughter.
Please read this manual carefully, as it describes the maintenance of your new daughter and answers important questions about your warranty
(which does NOT include the right to return the product to the factory for a full refund.)
IF YOU FEEL YOU HAVE RECEIVED YOUR TEENAGER IN ERROR
To determine whether you were supposed to receive a teenaged girl, please examine your new daughter carefully.
Does she:
a) Look very similar to your original daughter, only with more makeup and less clothing?
b) Refuse to acknowledge your existence on the planet Earth (except when requesting money)?
c) Sleep in a burrow of dirty laundry?
If any of these are true, you have received the correct item. Nice try, though.
BREAK-IN PERIOD
When you first receive your teenaged daughter, you will initially experience a high level of discomfort. Gradually, this discomfort will subside, and you will merely feel traumatized. This is the "Break-in Period," during which you are becoming accustomed to certain behaviors that will cause you concern, anxiety, and stress. Once you have adapted to these behaviors, your teenager will start acting even worse.
ACTIVATION
To activate your teenaged daughter, simply place her in the vicinity of a telephone or Instant Messenger. No further programming is required.
SHUTDOWN
Several hours after activation, you may desire to shut down your teenaged daughter. There is no way to do this.
CLEANING YOUR TEENAGED DAUGHTER
Having a teenaged daughter means learning the difference between the words "clean" and "neat." Teenaged daughters are very clean, because they take frequent showers that last more than an hour. They will scrub themselves with expensive, fragrant soaps that you must purchase for them because like I'm sure I'm going to use like the same kind of soap my mom and dad use. When they have completely drained the hot-water tank, they will step out and wrap themselves in every towel in the bathroom, which they will subsequently strew throughout the house. If you ask them to pick up the towels, you are confusing "clean" with "neat." Teenagers are very busy and do not have time to be neat. They expect others to pick up after them. These others are called "parents."
FEEDING YOUR TEENAGED DAUGHTER
Your teenaged daughter requires regular meals, which must be purchased for her at restaurants because she detests everything you eat because it is like so disgusting. She does not want you to accompany her to these restaurants, because some people might see you and like I'm sure I want my friends to see me eating dinner with my parents. Either order take-out food or just give her the money, preferably both. If you order pizza, never answer the doorbell because the delivery boy might see you and ohmigod he is so hot. Yes, your daughter's idea of an attractive man is the pizza boy.
CLOTHING YOUR TEENAGED DAUGHTER
Retailers make millions of dollars a year selling stylish and frankly sensible clothing that will look adorable on your daughter. If you enjoy shopping, you will love the vast selections that are available to you. Unfortunately, your teenaged daughter wants to dress like a lap dancer. You may be able to coerce her into putting on a cute outfit before leaving the house, but by the time she walks in the schoolhouse door, she will be wearing something entirely different.
OTHER MAINTENANCE
Teenaged daughters require one of two levels of maintenance: "High," and "Ultra High." Your daughter is "Ultra High." This means that whatever you do won't be enough and whatever you try won't work.
WARRANTY
This product is not without defect because she has your genes, for heaven's sake. If you think this is not fair, talk to your parents, who think it is hilarious. Your teenaged daughter will remain a teenager for as long as it takes for her to become a woman, which in her opinion has already happened and as far as you are concerned never really will. If you are dissatisfied with your teenaged daughter, well, what did you expect? In any event, your warranty does not give you your little girl back under any circumstances, except that deep down she's actually still there - you just have to look for her.
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