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Subject: Dress Code for Us
Many of us (those over 40, way over 40 or hovering near 40) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to the current fashions.
Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:
1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker
And last, but not least...my personal favorite:
13. Thongs and Depends
Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you shop.
I can't hear...sniff, sniff...the laughter anymore. Waaaaaaaaaaaah!