Macaulay Culkin has written a novel! The 25-year-old former child star's "Junior" will be released next year by Miramax Books. "In a dizzying kaleidoscope of words and images ... Culkin takes readers on a twisted tour of the darkest corners of his fertile imagination," according to the catalogue. "Part memoir, part rant, part comedic tour de force, 'Junior' is full of the hard-won wisdom of Culkin's quest to come to terms with the awesome pressures of childhood mega-stardom and family dysfunction." Don't say we didn't warn you. (Page Six)