Posted on 05/08/2005 8:12:28 AM PDT by pissant
Acura Legend: I have always yearned to own the Buick of sports cars
Acura Vigor: I wanted a Legend, but couldn't afford one
Audi 90: I enjoy extinguishing engine fires
BMW 318i: I love my father, whose girlfriend is my age
BMW M3: I am practical with a huge debt
Buick Grand National: I buy four new tires a week
Buick Park Avenue : I am older than 34 of the 50 states
Cadillac Fleetwood: I'm driving myself to the cemetary
Cadillac Eldorado: I'm the saleswoman of the month for Mary Kay cosmetics
Cadillac Seville: I'm a hairy-chested pimp with a fat gold chain
Chevrolet Camaro: I enjoy beating people up to compensate for my inadequacies
Chevrolet Chevette: I love to see peoples' reactions when I tell them I drive a 'Vette
Chevrolet Corvette: I'm going through a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino: I'm leading a militia to overthrow our overbearing government
Chrysler Cordoba: I dig the rich Corinthian leather
Chevrolet Lumina: Well, it was time for a new lease and the Dodge Stratus just wasn't for me
Datsun 280Z: I've got a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Dodge Dart: I teach 3rd grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona: I delivered pizzas for 4 years to pay for this car
Dodge Stealth: I like this body style, but couldn't afford it as a Mistubishi 3000GT
Dodge Stratus: Well, it was time for a new lease and the Chevy Lumina just wasn't for me
Ford Bronco: I purchased this car during the Simpson trial, with the expectation that it would appreciate in value when he was found guilty
Ford Crown Victoria: I get a kick out of pulling up right behind people and watching them slow down to below the speed limit and sweat bullets until I turn off
Ford Explorer: I'm a yuppie whose meaning of off-roading is setting down my cell phone to negotiate a construction cone
Ford Expedition: As a red-blooded American, I feel obligated to consume as much fossil fuel as is humanly possible during my relatively brief and insignificant lifespan on this planet
Ford Excursion I was going to buy a Ford Expedition, but it's double-digit gas mileage just wasn't for me
Ford Fairmont: (See Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang : I love to peel out while my teenage buddies cackle like idiots in the back seat
Ford Probe: I can't afford a real sports car
Ford Windstar: I have four children, all of whom play soccer
Geo Storm: I will start the 11th grade in the fall
Geo Tracker: I will start the 12th grade in the fall
Honda Accord: I lack any originality and am basically a lemming
Honda Civic: Gosh, with some stiff, low suspension, alloy wheels and a big chrome exhaust pipe, I've got a few people convinced this car is actually FAST
Honda Del Sol: I have always said that half a convertible is better than no convertible at all
Honda Element: I'm trying to cling to the fond memories of my childhood when I used to "drive" a cardboard refrigerator box
Hyundai Accent: I wanted a new car, but only had enough money for a used car
Infiniti G20: I'm pretending to be rich
Infiniti Q45 : I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending
Isuzu Impulse: I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports
Jaguar XJ6: I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year
Kia Sephia: I learned nothing from the failure of the Diahatsu Corporation
Lincoln Town Car: I live for Bingo and covered dish suppers
Mazda 323: I only drive to get somewhere
Mazda 626: I only drive to get somewhere, but decided I wanted to spoil myself
Mercury Grand Marquis: My blue-haired wife insists I drive this speed, lest my become aggravated
Mercedes 500SL: I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
Mazda Miata: I do not fear being decapitated by an 18-wheeler
MGB: I am dating a mechanic
Mitsubishi 3000GT: I'm a rich pasty white guy who wears wrap-around sunglasses
Mitsubishi Diamante: I don't know what it means either
Mitsubishi Eclipse: I bought it because car with a spoiler this size has got to be the end-all, be-all of contemporary sports cars
Nissan 300ZX: I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings
Nissan Maxima: This car looked really stupid until I tinted the windows, installed fake chrome hubcaps, and put a couple of crown air fresheners in the rear window
Oldmobile Cutlass: I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts
Peugeot 505 Diesel: I am on the EPA's "Ten Most Wanted" List
Plymouth Neon: I'm incessantly bubbly and enjoy doing the macarena
Pontiac Fiero: I wanted to challenge my patience and mechanical ability by purchasing a car that needs its engine dropped to change the spark plugs
Pontiac Trans Am: I have a switchblade in my sock
Porsche 944: I am dating big-haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow: With all of this grandeur, Grey Poupon is a must
Saturn SL: I was in the market for a cheap plastic car outfitted with an anemic powertrain whose engine tolerances are larger than the Grand Canyon
Saturn SC: I wanted to own a plastic car, and a Saturn SL was out of my price range
Subaru Legacy: I have always wanted a Japanese car even more than common sense
Toyota Camry: I am still in the closet
Volkswagen Beetle: I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volkswagen Cabriolet: I am out of the closet
Volkswagen Golf: I'm an opinionated college kid who basically bought this car to use as a billboard for all of my wacky bumper stickers
Volkswagen Jetta: I'm a single blonde in my twenties (of course the sunglasses are designer!)
Volkswagen Microbus: My most cherished possessions besides this car are my tie-dyed T-shirt, roach clip, and a tarnished 8x10 glossy of Jerry Garcia
Volvo 240 Sedan: I voted for Gore, and am a member of the Sierra Club
Volvo 740 Wagon : I am frightened of my wife
Volvo 740 Turbo Wagon: I am only somewhat frightened of my wife
Hey!
Mine is 10 years old and will run forever...
What????
I'll be getting one of those once I'm rich.
Disclaimer - most of the spoilers and wings out there are set at either zero angle of incidence or a slight negative value and have no value whatsoever. And, most of the aftermarket ones are hideously ugly anyway.
That said, a spoiler comes into play at about 50mph. It can either be used to plant the rear end of the car, clean up the rear aerodynamics, or both. As an example, TWR put a small spoiler on the back of a Jag sedan in the 80's and cut drag by 18% while increasing downforce. Try driving a spoilerless 84-89 300ZX on the freeway sometime, then drive the spoiler-equipped version. It does make a difference.
LOL
you gotta wait for 2 years to get one too...which sucks....
Bwhahahahah. Ain't that true.
There's 2 or 3 unmarked Crown Vics which are owned by the sheriff's department.
I figured you'd catch that. :o)
Try the new Acura Viagra.
I gots me a ranger too. My commute mobile, since the exploder I have suks gas.
I love what Harley has done to improve their bikes. Plus they look better than ever.
"Dang, where do I fit in?"
Indeed
Prius? That means you're a tree hugger, I think.
No, the chumps are here in Wa. State too. NOthing worse than the white kids blaring (c)Rap music though. I'll listen to bad mufflers 24/7 rather than hear 3 minutes of thumping (c)Rap.
standard cop issue, I assume.
The engine weighs 3 times as much as the rest of the car! Yikes.
One of our cars is a 1979 Toyota Tercel that won't die.
Mercifully, I see some of the kids in my hood working on chevelles, Novas, and other old muscle cars. Maybe there is hope!
Can't be too old, you curmudgeon, if the Honda Element is on it!
LOL
there are some in my new neighborhood too, but quite a few kids have normal teenager cars and stuff...beaters and whatnot...
there is one kid (I hope its a girl, but I cant see into the windows to really be sure) that I see on the road from time to time in a hot pink Chevy S-10 pickup. It is an interesting looking truck that is for sure....
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