Chelsea Booze Crisis

<i>The Globe</i> ^ | 11 APR 05 | Jeff Samuels and Leon Wagener

[Bigg Red]

You're kidding? For or against it? He can't be a conservative and involved with that family.

&&
He's probably working as a spy for the Clintons. Maybe he is sabotaging oil fields.

[CzarNicky]

He still reminds me of Michael Bolton.

[bannie]

"Unfortunately, it looks like Chelsea's going to keep living on the edge until everything is resolved with the two main men in her life,"adds the second pal. "She may think she's got control of her drinking, but that's not how her friends see it. What Chelsea needs to do is talk to someone about the things that are troubling her--and stay out of the bars."

"Chelsea does not have a drinking problem," insists her rep. Howard Rubenstein.

[uglybiker]

No wonder she's drinkin'!
She's marryin' Greg Brady!

[Bigg Red]

Does anyone know if she's still being "protected" by our dollars?

&&
I am pretty sure she is. I know that Hitlery and her husband are still. And we shelled out big bucks to secure their home in Chapaqua as well as their place in Georgetown.

[solitas]

Chelsea Clinton has fallen off the wagon and is slinging back cocktails and liquor shots with binge-drinking abandon...

And people say there are no good things left in this world. Hey Chel - two words: grain alcohol.

[i_dont_chat]

Which one is Chelsea and which one is Ian?

I'm so confused.

[stands2reason]

Makeover? More like plastic surgery. Note the gums.

[Afronaut]

Let's see...

Terry S., dead

Pope, Dead

yup must be time to bash the crap out of Clinton's daughter.

Nice touch FR

[bannie]

Meanwhile, Chelsea's worries are aggravated by the fact that she keeps running into her least favorite person in the world--Monika Lewinsky.

Chelsea recently walked into a hip downtown restaurant and spotted the former thong-wearing intern holding court--and it was like death rays shot out of her eyes.

"If looks could kill, Monica would be dead and buried now," says a Clinton family friend. "It was a terrible moment that caused other diners to freeze with their forks in mid-air."

[Auntie Toots]

Oh, cripes, leave it alone, who cares what Chelsea is doing?

[k2blader]

Back to the important stuff, you know. Next on the menu, a few new MJ threads.

[Anti-Bubba182]

Sheesh! Give the girl a break! If you had to get up every day and stare at a Toulouse Lautrec poster in the mirror, you would drink too.

[duck duck goose]

Must be nice. So did she learn to booze it up from her lying cheating Dad or, was it her Mom who taught her to have many different faces and not one more then once?? This family deserves each other....

[Lx]

I'm glad to see the Bush daughters and Chelsea get the exact same treatment in the press-Not!

[ladylib]

Yeah, all three parents.

[OrioleFan]

I got a note home the other day from my daughters High School humanities class asking permission for her to see "Bowling for Columbine" because it is rated "R". I replied "no". We'll see how this affects her "A".

[tuvals]

"She's such a wreck," adds the friend, "she can't help but drown her sorrows and fears in booze."

Give me a break please! With friends like these she sure doesn't need enemies. Of course, being the daughter of the infamous Hillary and Wild Bill Clinton could drive one off the deep end. I hope she gets the necessary help she needs to beat her alcohol dependency.

[COUNTrecount]

She's had a serious makeover, hasn't she? She must have, she was such a butt-homely kid.

[mabelkitty]

Intersting.

The real story is Ian Klaus is working in Iraq as a civilian contractor.
Does that mean we can call him a paid killer and annoy the Dems? Please tell me he's working as a secretary for Halliburton!