If Lt. Dan get's voted off...they can give him a job doing commercials...
"This is Constantine Maroulis for Quaker State Motor Oil.....ever need that "hot hair look?" I simply bath in Quaker State and the girls just love my greasy locks!"
How bout VO5 haircare or Preperation H for... oh nevermind.... (snicker)
How about:
"Hi, I'm Constantine from American Idol. People tell me I stink--and it's not just my singing. When you go for days and days without bathing like I do, you need a strong deodorant to cover up all that bodily funk. That's why use Speed Stick."