Posted on 02/11/2005 11:04:16 AM PST by TheBigB
Okay gang, time for some better-late-than-never FRIDAY SILLINESS!! Gather ye round and have fun...post pics, silly jokes, nonsensical statements, or even IGNORE THIS THEAD!
"Yawn, I'll just watch the silliness from here."
"Yes, I believe I shall have some silliness. Thank you." .jpg)
Silliness! Arf! 
"I know what I wanna do when I grow up!" 
Fierce Allegiance used to have a Debbie Gibson tape in his truck. :^)
Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began?
Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland.
Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night.
The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.
As the story goes, the farmer's daughter asked her father, "Who is that man going into the barn?"
"That fellow traveling through," said the farmer. "needs a place to stay for the night, so, I told him he could sleep in the barn."
The daughter said, "Perhaps he is hungry.." So she prepared him a plate of food for him and then took it out to the barn.
About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveled and straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.
The farmer's wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to the barn, and she too did not return for an hour. Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly. She also headed straight to bed.
The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.
When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into tears. "How could he leave without even saying goodbye," she cried. "We made such passionate love last night!"
"What?" shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain.
The farmer screamed up at him, "I'm going to get you! You had sex with my daughter!"
The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to his mouth, and yelled out.....
"LAIDTHEOLADEETOO"
I rate post #9 a 10!
A Rolling STone drops dead of a drug overdose.
What do you call an empty can of Cheez-Whiz?
Cheez-Was
The one 'l' Lama
He's a priest.
The two 'l' LLama
He's a beast.
And I will bet a silk pajama
That there is no three 'l' LLLama.
I don't remember who wrote that, but it was the first poem in the freshman poetry book we studied in High School. I graduated almost 25 years ago.
Shalom.
Can you say "trebuchet"?
A Scotsman goes to the dentist and asks how much it is for a tooth extraction.
"$85 for an extraction sir" was the dentist's reply.
"Och... huv ye no got anythin' cheaper" replies the Scotsman getting agitated.
"But that's the normal charge for an extraction sir" said the dentist.
"What about if ye din't use any anesthetic?" asked the Scotsman hopefully.
"Well it's highly unusual sir, could be quite painful, but if that's what you
want, I suppose I can do it for $70" said the dentist.
"Hmmmm, what about if yer used one of your dentist trainees and still without
anesthetics" said the Scotsman.
"Well it's possible but they are only training and I can't guarantee their level
of professionalism and it'll be a lot more painful. I suppose in that case we
can bring the price down to say $40" said the dentist.
"Och... that's still a bit much, how about if ye make it a trainin' session and
have yer student do the extraction and the other students watchin' and learnin"
said the Scotsman hopefully.
"Hmmmmm, well OK it'll be good for the students I suppose, I'll charge you only
$5 in that case" said the dentist.
"Now yer talkin' laddie! It's a deal" said the Scotsman.
"Can you confirm an appointment for the wife on Tuesday?"
No, it's politics. As in, "Anna K.? Yeah, I think I could enjoy spending the evening with her discussing politics."
Shalom.
Hey! Your suppose to be shoveling snow!
Ping!
He Said/She Said
He said . . .. I don't know why you wear a bra; you've
got nothing to put in it. She said .. . You wear
pants don't you?
He said .. . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . That's a good idea - you stand by the
ironing board while I sit on the sofa.
He said . . .. What have you been doing with all the
grocery money I gave you? She said . Turn sideways
and look in the mirror!
Time to trot out the stupid joke:
Bob was tired of living with his nagging wife, so he decided to have her killed. Fortunately for him, he had befriended a mafia hit man, Arturo Francini, known to his associates as Artie. Bob went to Artie to tell him of his desire, and wanted a quote for the job. Artie said that since Bob was such a good friend, he would not charge the full mafia contract rate. However, as a professional, Artie had to charge something so he offered to do the job for a dollar.
Bob agreed, paid the dollar, and suggested that the job be done when his wife went grocery shopping at Kroger's (or insert your regional supermarket chain here). Bob, really wanting revenge, insisted on manual strangulation as the manner of death, and Artie agreed.
The designated day came, and Artie waited in the parking lot for Bob's wife. Seeing her approach her car with the shopping cart, Artie jumped out and strangled her. Unfortunately, Artie was a very inept and somewhat excitable hit man, and there were two witnesses to his murder of Bob's wife. In a panic, Artie strangled them as well.
Unfortunately, he was identified by witnesses, arrested that day and gave a complete confession.
The headline in the paper the next day?
ARTIE CHOKES THREE FOR A DOLLAR AT KROGER'S
My wife tells me I look just like Antonio Banderas......In the bed....... In the dark.......with her eyes closed.......
So, where is the rest of your harley joke?
Some things stick.
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