Posted on 02/11/2005 11:04:16 AM PST by TheBigB
Okay gang, time for some better-late-than-never FRIDAY SILLINESS!! Gather ye round and have fun...post pics, silly jokes, nonsensical statements, or even IGNORE THIS THEAD!
"Yawn, I'll just watch the silliness from here."
"Yes, I believe I shall have some silliness. Thank you." .jpg)
Silliness! Arf! 
"I know what I wanna do when I grow up!" 
Fierce Allegiance used to have a Debbie Gibson tape in his truck. :^)
excellent joke!
Yeah!!! Silly Friday.....
A tongue-tied man goes into a nut shop, and the first thing he
notices is that the guy behind the counter has the largest nose he's ever seen.
The tongue-tied guy quickly turns his attention to the merchandise and
asks, "Ess-tues me, sir?"
"Yes?" replies the clerk.
"Tould you tale me how mutsh your pisstasheos arr?"
"Pistachio's? They're six dollars a pound."
"SSit!" The tongue-tied guy goes back to browsing and then asks,
"Welp, how mutsh arr your aahhmons?"
"Almonds? They're seven fifty a pound."
"SSIT! tas pensive," replies the tongue-tied man. "Welp, how bout
your pikanns?"
"Pecans? They're on sale today, they're only four fifty a pound."
"Welp, Ssit. Just div me a pound of dose dhen."
"All right then," says the clerk as he begins bagging up a pound of
pecans.
Then the tongue-tied guy says to the clerk, "Sirr, I just wanna tay
tank you for not making fun of de way I talk, cauz I tan't hep it."
The clerk replies with a smile. "Oh sir, you don't have to thank me
for that I don't make fun of anybody. I don't know if you noticed but
I have a rather large nose."
The tongue-tied guy replies, "Oh, is dat your noze? I tought dat wuz
your pecker since your nuts are so high."
Well, what kind of behavior do you expect from a French lion?
Shalom.
OH THE HUGH MANATEE!!!!
that is because all haute-couture and pret-a-portez is dominated by those who are not only homosexuals, but who also are utterly insulated from reality.
this bizarre situation has puzzled me for a while: why on earth would hetero women turn to such creatures as thiese for advice on how to be attractive to heterosexual men?
Lawyer Joke
Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared
for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness, a grand-motherly, elderly woman to the
stand. He approached her &asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy, &frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate
people &talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big
shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to
anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The
lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
room &asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was
a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, &he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone &his law practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife with 3 different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know
him." The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, &in a very
quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows
me, I'll throw you in jail for contempt."
One Friday night his roomate convinces him to go to a dance just to give it a try. So he goes, but he just kind of hangs on a wall and refuses to approach anyone or try to join into the festive mood.
After a while his roommate comes up to him and points out a fairly attractive young lady who also seems to be spending the party holding up a wall. The roommate says, "See that girl over there."
"Yeah."
"Well," the roomate continues, "I've been talking to her roommate and it appears you two have a lot in common. She has a hair-lip and is very self-conscious about it. Now I bet it would be safe for you to go over there and ask her to dance."
The guy thinks about it for a while and finally decides it might be safe. So he works his way over to the girl who has been watching him out of the corner of her eye. "Excuse me," he says, "but would you care to dance with me?"
"Would I?!" she says. "Would I?!"
Appalled, the man shouts back, "Hair-lip, hair-lip!" and runs from the party.
Shalom.
1. Democratic values at work again.
2. "William Jefferson Blythe Clinton! You stop doing that at once or there'll be no dessert for you!"
3. "I know sending him to Public School was a bad idea! But did you LISTEN?!?! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
I am having a very hard time not busting out loud laughing.
Oh! I want one of those babies!
Your cubicle is surrounded by suicide squirrels.
Exactly. French lion baby daddy. ;-)
He sends killer beachballs to your cubicle.
Cube Helmet! lol.
;-)
*chuckle*
LOL!
I hated that movie, but it was likable in a horrid campy way.
*wincing*
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