On further reflection, I think I have a pretty clear idea of what is going on here. Your wife is desiring to have a child ASAP, and she is convinced that your behavior does not show you to be a reliable father to that child. And having a child is the No. 1 objective in her life right now. And she reckons that each day you screw up on little things will mean another 3 months of "training" that she will have to carry out to make you a responsible father of a potential child. She is losing any hope that she will have a baby with you in the short term and so is lashing out angrily at the little stuff--precisely because the little stuff confirms in her that her time clock for having a baby is running out. At least with you as the father.