Dimensional Door - Freeople Thread 19

Today | Me

[sweetliberty]

ROTFL! My dad sent me this:

*Official Announcement:*

The Democratic Party today announced that it is changing their emblem from a donkey to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects their political stance.

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that."

[restornu]

LOL! how poetic!

[sweetliberty]

Another email from my dad:

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home.

Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

He kept! taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"

"Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a bitch on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"

.

[HopeandGlory]

Hello Sweetliberty . . .I just love that cat . . . attitude indeed . . . LOL!!!

Would you please Freepmail me your "Macadamia Nut Cookie Recipe" . . . my DIL is an avid macadamia nut cookie recipe freak and I just know she would love to have your recipe for her collection, (Plus I want her to make them for the Holidays . . . he he he, evil grin) . . . please, there's no rush as I know you are extremely busy with work, the holidays and family coming for Christmas.

[sweetliberty]

Hmmm....if I can remember how I did them. I had to kinda mess with the recipe, because it was a modified chocolate chip cookie recipe. Problem is that there is more fat in the white chocolate and/or the Macadamias than there is in regular chocolate chips and pecans or walnuts. Using the normal measurements, the bottom gets slightly runny and forms a hard glaze on the bottom. I think what I did was to increase the flour to get a little drier consistency to the batter, and watched them very closely. I found that forming them into small balls and pressing just slightly with a fork produced the best results. It probably depends a little on your oven, too, but if your DIL has had some experience with baking them, she shouldn't have too much trouble figuring out what works best. Nully got some of my first and my last ones. The last ones were MUCH better.

.

White Chocolate/Macadamia Nut Cookies

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

• 1/2 c. shortening
• 1/2 c. softened butter
• 1 c. packed brown sugar
• 1/2 c. granulated sugar
• 1/2 tsp. baking soda
• 2 eggs
• 1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
• 2 1/2 c. flour
• 1 - 12 oz. pkg. white chocolate chips
• 3-4 ozs. (1 1/2 c.) raw Macadamia nuts, chopped

In a large mixing bowl beat butter and shortening together with mixer on medium to high speed for about 30 seconds. Add brown sugar, granulated sugar and baking soda. Beat until mixture is combined, scraping sides of bowl occasionally. Beat in eggs and vanilla till combined. Beat in as much of the flour as you can with the mixer. Stir in remaining flour. Stir in the white chocolate pieces and the Macadamias.

Put dough by small, round spoonfuls about 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheet. Press slightly with fork (don't mash flat). Bake in 375 oven for 8-10 minutes, or until edges are slightly brown. Cool on a wire rack.

WARNING: Mo; do NOT try this at home. ...at least not without the fire extinguisher.

[null and void]

They were both wonderful.

[HopeandGlory]

Thank you so very much for the recipe . . . I'm sure she'll figure it out just fine . . . she absolutely loves to bake and cookies are one of her favorites . . . lucky me . . . ;-)

[sweetliberty]

You're very welcome.

[sweetliberty]

*Smooch*

[westmex]

Think I'll trundle off to bed...

Goodnight all, have good ones...

.....Westy.....

[null and void]

What?!?! No Picture?!?!?!

[westmex]

A Thai student blows fire Thursday during a performance before King Bhumibol in Bangkok, Thailand. King Bhumibol will turn 77 on Dec. 5, the same day Thailand will celebrate the 58th anniversary of his coronation as king.

......Westy.....

[Conservababe]

You are going to 'trundle' off to bed? I swear, Westy, you are sounding more southern every day. But, I am remembering that your wife was from Mississippi.

[.38sw]

Ah! The Recipe! They were indeed very good. I'm saving this one. I'll have to try it out soon. Hubby bought me a brand new kitchenaid stand mixer last weekend (Costco had a smokin' deal on them) so I can whip up things like bread and cookies. I made bread last weekend. The mixer makes it soooo easy. Haven't made cookies yet.

[.38sw]

Oh, btw, do you need a supply of macadamia nuts this year, or are you located in an area now where they are more accessible?

[Woliff]

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed)or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are oving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at
the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Terri during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Terri kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".

[sweetliberty]

I haven't checked yet. I was thinking about that the other day.

[sweetliberty]

LOL!

[grannie9]

Good morning everyone.

Therapy! ;)

[sweetliberty]

Glad you found time to pop in this morning. I've been over here pondering the possibilites this might open up. At least one poster isn't liking my musings and thinks I want to chop up and eat genetic misfits. Pondering uses for genetic mutations is more Darks' style. I don't even want to eat genetically altered vegetables.