Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Dimensional Door - Freeople Thread 19
Today | Me

Posted on 11/19/2004 10:30:49 AM PST by Mo1



TOPICS: Dimensional Doorway; Freeoples
KEYWORDS:
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 2,121-2,1402,141-2,1602,161-2,180 ... 6,381-6,393 next last
To: lodwick; restornu

LightningBugs / Older 'n Dirt!!

"Hey Dad," one of my kids asked the other day, "What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?"

"We didn't have fast food when I was growing up," I informed him. "All the food was slow."

"C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?"

"It was a place called 'at home,'" I explained. "Grandma cooked every day and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit
there until I did like it."

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I
would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house
until I was 11, but my grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding across someone's lawn on a sunny day. Some people had a lens taped to the front of the TV to make the picture look larger.

I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called "pizza pie." When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the
best pizza I ever had.

We didn't have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car in our family was my grandfather's Ford. He called it a "machine."

I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got to keep 2 cents. I had to get up at 4 AM every morning. On Saturday, I had to collect the 42 cents from my customers. My favorite customers were the ones who gave me 50 cents and told me to keep the change. My least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection
day.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. Touching someone else's tongue with yours was called French kissing and they didn't do that in movies. I don't know what they did in French movies.
French movies were dirty and we weren't allowed to see them.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?


MEMORIES from a friend:

My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to "sprinkle" clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.


2,141 posted on 11/28/2004 8:07:40 AM PST by Borax Queen (America the Beautiful)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2136 | View Replies]

To: null and void

How many do you remember?

Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Real ice boxes.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.

Older Than Dirt Quiz: Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom.

1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (OLive-6933)
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15. S&H Green Stamps
16 Hi-fi's
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19 Blue flashbulb
20. Packards
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,
If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt!

I might be older than dirt but those memories are the best part of my life.

Don't forget to pass this along!!
Especially to all your really OLD friends.
=====
"Senility Prayer".God grant me...
The senility to forget the people I never liked
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do
And the eyesight to tell the difference


2,142 posted on 11/28/2004 8:08:48 AM PST by Borax Queen (America the Beautiful)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2135 | View Replies]

To: sweetliberty
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

2,143 posted on 11/28/2004 8:10:33 AM PST by Borax Queen (America the Beautiful)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2134 | View Replies]

To: sweetliberty; Darksheare
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

2,144 posted on 11/28/2004 8:11:57 AM PST by Borax Queen (America the Beautiful)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2134 | View Replies]

To: lodwick
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

2,145 posted on 11/28/2004 8:13:05 AM PST by Borax Queen (America the Beautiful)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2136 | View Replies]

To: restornu; Canadian Outrage
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

2,146 posted on 11/28/2004 8:14:17 AM PST by Borax Queen (America the Beautiful)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2138 | View Replies]

To: Lakeshark
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

2,147 posted on 11/28/2004 8:16:16 AM PST by Borax Queen (America the Beautiful)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2146 | View Replies]

To: sweetliberty; Conservababe

(I doubt this is really true, but...)
This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School (California) Staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework.

The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes.

This is the actual answering machine message for the school:

"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection:

"To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

"To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2
"To complain about what we do - Press 3

"To swear at staff members - Press 4

"To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5

"If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

"If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

"To request another teacher for the third time this year- Press 8

"To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

"To complain about school lunches - Press 0

"If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!"

If you can read this thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English thank a veteran.


2,148 posted on 11/28/2004 8:20:58 AM PST by Borax Queen (America the Beautiful)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2126 | View Replies]

To: restornu

I don't know if we saw this before:

Ode to the Left Be-Heinz

When polls were closed,
We all supposed
It couldn't be much closer!
Now Libs are torn,
Downcast...Forlorn,
And Soros is moroser!

The votes were cast,
And now at last
The counting could begin.
Monsieur LaMoore
Was very sure
His flick would do George in.

But now instead,
The states are Red,
And Hollywood is Blue.
Ben Affleck's mad,
Saradon's sad,
And Whoopi's come unglued!

Begala whines,
The Left Be-Heinz,
"The Boss" just wonders..."HOW!?"
James Carville pouts,
O'Donnell shouts...
No time to Ketchup now!

The Kerry Crowd
Was brash and loud;
The cool and hip were pumped!
In Franken-Land
They took their stand...
"War Hero" John's been dumped.

At CBS?
Lord, what a mess!
Dan Rather wears a frown.
He's quite distressed...
Some say depressed.
Poor Dan,
He's goin' down.

There's "Hardball" Chris,
Who loved to kiss
The rear of liberal guests...
Convention night
Ol' Zell was right...
To that we may attest.

At CNN
It's sinkin' in...
Oh my! They're all in shock!
"Ohio's RED!"
John Kerry's Dead!"
"By George! We've been out-Foxed!"


2,149 posted on 11/28/2004 8:23:18 AM PST by Borax Queen (America the Beautiful)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2146 | View Replies]

To: Darksheare

Seen before... "Sending Old Men To War"

If I could, I'd enlist today and help my country track down those responsible for killing thousands of innocent people in New York City and Washington DC.

But, I'm over 50 now and the Armed Forces say I'm too old
to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35. For starters: Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into submission.
"My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!"
"Where's the remote control?"

An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do wonders for the old beer belly. An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys get up early every morning to pee. If old guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys.
We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles.

We like them almost better than naps. They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and
I didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Sergeant now,
"Get down and give me...er...one."

And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet. An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to actually carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without the top of his butt crack showing and his boxer shorts sticking out. He's still hasn't figured out that a pierced tongue catches food particles, and that a 400-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum. All great reasons to keep our sons at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off to possible death. Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked our hearts on September 11. The last thing the enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.


2,150 posted on 11/28/2004 8:28:20 AM PST by Borax Queen (America the Beautiful)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2149 | View Replies]

To: sweetliberty; .38sw; restornu; Canadian Outrage
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

2,151 posted on 11/28/2004 8:30:32 AM PST by Borax Queen (America the Beautiful)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2134 | View Replies]

To: Borax Queen

The measuring tape is my favorite. Did you know that Cajuns use beer as a cooking timer? Listen to a Cajun giving a recipe to another and you will hear..."after about two beers, turn the meat over....".


2,152 posted on 11/28/2004 8:32:52 AM PST by Conservababe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2149 | View Replies]

To: Darksheare
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

The story is: this very special Mi-24 helicopter is presently flying in Afghanistan, where it is no doubt causing quite a stir. God Bless the U.S.A.


2,153 posted on 11/28/2004 8:33:33 AM PST by Borax Queen (America the Beautiful)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2150 | View Replies]

To: Conservababe

LOL! There were some others I haven't seen before but too x-rated to post here. Glad someone stopped me before I quadruple-funkled :)


2,154 posted on 11/28/2004 8:35:13 AM PST by Borax Queen (America the Beautiful)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2152 | View Replies]

To: Conservababe
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

2,155 posted on 11/28/2004 8:35:46 AM PST by Borax Queen (America the Beautiful)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2152 | View Replies]

To: Borax Queen

Hey out there - I don't know where the Red Ranch Kennel is located - just a pretty sunrise I stole.


2,156 posted on 11/28/2004 8:46:19 AM PST by lodwick (The 2nd Amendment is Our Reset Button on Governments.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2140 | View Replies]

To: Borax Queen

Great memories.

Very old dirt here.


2,157 posted on 11/28/2004 8:50:11 AM PST by lodwick (The 2nd Amendment is Our Reset Button on Governments.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2142 | View Replies]

To: Borax Queen

Well, I didn't quite get to the older than dirt category, but I ain't sayin' how close I came. *sigh*


2,158 posted on 11/28/2004 9:06:55 AM PST by .38sw
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2142 | View Replies]

To: .38sw; lodwick

LOL! I'm scared to take it. It will say I should be in the ground already :)


2,159 posted on 11/28/2004 9:08:01 AM PST by Borax Queen (America the Beautiful)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2158 | View Replies]

To: Borax Queen

Allll 25 of them.. Now I'm nostalgic and going to weep.. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...


2,160 posted on 11/28/2004 9:10:49 AM PST by grannie9
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2142 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 2,121-2,1402,141-2,1602,161-2,180 ... 6,381-6,393 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson