Posted on 11/19/2004 6:32:14 AM PST by grellis
Since we have several new moms and dads at the table (remember--you are a new parent to each of your children!), I thought it might be nice if we helped them sift through the barrage of advice they are now facing. What is the best advice, with regard to becoming a parent, that you have ever heard? The worst? Most ridiculous? Most dangerous?
My daughter (now 23) still wears almost all black. She will wear some brightly-colored accent pieces, though. Jewelry, decorative applique, etc.
Bedtime. Bedtime important. Have a routine, stick to it. They need the sleep, and you and your spouse need the time together, being husband and wife, not mommy and daddy.
Learn to say No.
Also they knew I was not their friend, but their mom. And a mom is waaay better than a friend when the going gets tough cuz they knew no matter the situation, mom will still love them...even if they were on restriction until they were 35!
I love to see loving parents with large families! (Or small families.) It is much better than bitter, too-busy parents with any number of children. Had a friend with 9 children - said with 3, she was busy all the time, so she didn't see how more children could keep her any busier! :-)
Also important--make sure all the kids have a chance to talk. My middle son, "Motormouth," is silent when he is sleeping and that's about the only time. Until my youngest was about two, I had him pegged as the strong, silent type.
He was actually just waiting for his older brother to stop and take a breath!
That's a good one! We regularly tell our children, "No, we DON'T have to get you something because we got X something. Life is like that, live with it!"
Three was the hardest ... the rest are gravy!
The best is to lovingly teach obediance from the crib on. If you wait until they are 2, it means trouble and greater conflict.
The worst is to treat each child alike. I have raised 5. Each is unique, and should be treated as such, within the family's overall guidelines. For example, a very gentle child may be corrected with a quiet word. A very strong willed child needs more. Treating them equally would be bad for both children. It is better to treat each child according to what he or she needs. The long term goals for the child are self-discipline, wisdom, and the ability to interact positively with others of any age or authority level.
The most dangerous is to allow a young child an equal say, as though he or she is a fellow adult. That child has no defense against unknown dangers.
Whenever you find yourself wanting something for your child more than your child wants it, BACK OFF.
TC, you got beat to the punch! Is the coffee on over there?
Chortle ... I was inhaling the Molasses Miasma of Niceness and thinking conciliatory thoughts!
We told our kids basically the same thing and I'm sure that's why they are all Republicans! They know they, and only they, are responsible for their lives.
So true!
If that was a vulgar reference, would you please ask Admin Moderator to remove that post. Thank you.
And you don't always have to be right. If you mess up, ask forgiveness. It teaches them a great lesson.
The last few weeks before the baby is due, go out to eat at the nicest restaurants in town and enjoy the heck out of your quiet meals.
Also, before the baby arrives, sleep in as much as possible.
It will be years before you'll ever get the opportunity to do these things again.
YES! and parents should DO things with children, not just take them places. Sled, roller blade, hike, read, watch, worship, deliver newspapers, ... WITH them. My husband used to come home and color, put together puzzles, and have the infamous "tickle time" with our kids. They loved it- and have developed great relationships with him because of it.
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