Posted on 11/19/2004 6:32:14 AM PST by grellis
Since we have several new moms and dads at the table (remember--you are a new parent to each of your children!), I thought it might be nice if we helped them sift through the barrage of advice they are now facing. What is the best advice, with regard to becoming a parent, that you have ever heard? The worst? Most ridiculous? Most dangerous?
Have I told you that you are very wise for your years?
This is the best advice that I can give. Give your kids real compliments, and tell them you love them a lot. Also trust your instincts. Mom's know best.
The worst advice I ever got was to not be so involved in their education. (From my mom.)
I have several items that top this list on the most dangerous advice.
One was from our pediatrician (gotta love him). One of my twins has brain damage, we didn't find out until she was 3 about the brain damage. When she was around 18 months old, I started complaining that time-outs were not working for discipline. He told me that I was doing it wrong, and gave me a hand-out on how it should work. Of course, we later find out that she has brain damage. She had/has severe speech problems, and she had/has sensory integration dysfunction.
The other worst advice was from a psychologist. I went to her to help with my daughter's behavior after we found out about the brain damage. She told me to read a book called "The Explosive Child". Basically, it told me that I needed to communicate more with my child. Well, duh. My daughter didn't talk until she was 5 1/2. After that, the psychologist started talking about medicating my daughter. I ignored her.
I then just went with my instincts. I didn't spank because I was usually dealing with a kid have a full-blown hitting, kicking, throwing thing tantrum. I did work on communicating with my daughter through lots of speech therapy. Then when she threw a tantrum, I either restrained her by holding her tight so she couldn't get hurt or hurt anything. Or I put her in her room until she was calm (or would let me calm her down by rubbing her back or holding her).
At 8, my daughter is much better and is not medicated. She still likes to hit and kick too much, but she responds to normal discipline. I think the hitting and kicking will go away when she can really talk better (or write better).
You're too cute! I'd have your girl scouts building bonfires and taking gun-safety courses!
Kissy!
Yes - St. Louis area!! You??
We plan to do bonfires around March, as part of a "camping skills" day. Anoreth is hoping to teach gun safety for her Cadette level "Silver Award." The GSUSA is not as agreeable about guns as the Boy Scouts, but she read in the NRA youth magazine about a Girl Scout who did Eddie Eagle training for a project.
Thanks :-). It's not the years, it's the mileage!
Excellent! One needs to know how to camp even if, like me, camping is limited to the closest motel. I would imagine that GSUSA doesn't have a sash level patch for gun-safety. Mine were for sewing and that sort of thing.
Eddie Eagle is great. The boys love it and are very gun-safe.
I like you, so I say this with love: There are many on here who send their children to public schools with no reservations. The schools here are excellent. My children attend these schools and are healthy, happy, popular and well-adjusted.
If you wish to home-school your child(ren) that is your choice, but it is not mine. I am quite weary of home-schoolers who are zealots about it. My husband and I are well-educated, so it is not a lack of learning. The boys learn well from us about everyday tasks and get tremendous help with their schooling here.
We live in a rural area with no other children near-by. They go to public school and have by doing so, met many children who are not as privileged or more so than they. I don't think this is detrimental. They must move out one day and make their own lives. Better now than at 16 or younger to learn that there are sharp corners and mean people in the world.
Just my two cents.
Our boys went to a Cub Scouting fair, and came home yelling, "Stop! Don't Touch! Leave the Area! Tell an Adult!" It's a very simple program that seems to really stick with kids.
Anoreth is supposed to talk to her leader (a public school teacher) about doing the program in the local public schools, and if that doesn't work out, we'll talk to our pastor (the diocesan education director) about doing it in the Catholic schools.
We have been too excited about being parents the past week to take naps during the day when he was sleeping. Today was my first day back at work. By the end of the day, I was dragggggging. My wife did nap today though at home.
This week-end, I plan on taking naps whenever the chance arrives.
"Don't wave the gun!" is a starter, for the gun safety thing.
On the down low, I absolutely HATE camping. I do all the same chores I do at home, but I have to do them with a camp stove and kids whining about bugs.
As you know, I'm a home-schooling zealot for my family. After 10 years, I just don't see any other way of living our life, although we always say, "This year, and then we'll consider all the options again next year."
However, from a historical standpoint, I don't believe government schools are what our Founders intended. In my ideal society, your local "public" school would be a private school, which you could easily afford because you wouldn't pay property taxes. Poor children in your area would have scholarships to the school, provided by donors who had extra money because they didn't pay property taxes :-).
In more populous areas, there would be charity schools in addition to private schools at a variety of cost levels. In the charity schools, the families would trade control over the curriculum and environment for free schooling, which is pretty much what everyone does in using today's public schools. Sometimes it's successful, as it is for you, but sometimes it's disastrous.
For me, parents' control of education is the goal.
I understand. I loved camping when we didn't have children, but now I really don't want to be away from my washer and dryer for more than a few hours!
Just my opinion, but when he gets a bit older, say 9 months, let him cry it out at bedtime---it will break your heart for a few days, but they need to learn
:, You had your supper, you had your bath and you are IN BED. Sleep is good.
I hated going on vacation *period* when mine were small. The ex had a thing about going to the Jersey Shore. I hated it. I had to bring linens, then go buy groceries, then drive many miles to the Laundromat. And I had to board my dog since the Landlord wouldn't let me keep her there.
Plus, I had to wash the dishes in the sink and hang the wash on the line and sleep on lumpy mattresses. It was more work than staying at home!
Should read:
My son is 8 days old today, and today was my first day back at my other job."
Don't slight yourself! There is no more demanding job than being a parent. How did the fist week go?
I applaud you for the work you do with and for your children. I just get pissed (sorry) when some people assume that home-schooling is the only option. Gabx and I have really taken a whipping from some of the zealots.
We all do what is best for our children and for us, as well.
I miss western NY! I did my undergrad at RIT, and lived in Auburn for a while growing up, my DH lived in Canandagua when he was really young. My great grandma had a house in Penn Yan, and we would walk from her front porch to the lake in no time.
Don't miss the snow though...
Yes! We're in Hillsboro now, but have lived many years in Ballwin, Webster, etc.
Small World!! :)
Wildwood here!! :o)
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.