Around here all the Salvation Army ringers seem to be these drooling old men who mumble at you and won't let you into the store without giving them cash. Which I never have, so I feel guilty. I'm tempted to shop at Target just to avoid the hassle...
There ya go Jen, that's the spirit of Christmas.
Those "drooling old men" are probably dependent on the Salvation Army for less food than you're likely to send down the disposal on any given day.
Jen: Bah humbug!