The GUILD 9-22-2004 There is NO EXCUSE for this!

[mountaineer]

if eff'n keeps doing whatever it is that he's doing to his melon, dude will be orange by Thursday evening.

At least we know what variety of melon he is - cantaloupe! Many are calling his skintone pumpkin orange, which technically makes him a gourd, I suppose.

[daisyscarlett]

Rally is biggest of Bush campaign

In the largest political rally of his campaign, President Bush was greeted by nearly 50,000 cheering supporters Monday afternoon at the Voice of America Park in West Chester Township. Bush's arrival just before 4:30 p.m. ended a day-long bus tour that made several stops in the GOP stronghold of southwestern Ohio, including Cedarville, Springfield and Xenia.

" As his bus rolled into the West Chester park, Bush enthusiastically bounded onto the stage without a coat or tie, in a blue-checkered shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

"It lifts my spirits to see so many people," Bush said. "It's a good sign when this many people come to a rally."

[mountaineer]

Do you think anyone will protest Edwards in Weirton, or is he too irrelevant to bother? I haven't decided what to do.

[MadelineZapeezda]

............ or is he too irrelevant to bother?

Those were my EXACT thoughts that I was going to write to you....ha! The doctors from WMC should be doing something. I'll try and found out if there is anything local planned.

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

Bush is our rock star!

[mountaineer]

Bush is our rock star!

It was a strange thing. I'm normally rather unimpressed by just about anyone or anything. Not cynical, necessarily, but just not swayed by emotional displays, lovefests, celebrity and the like. Movie stars, rock stars, any kind of "star" - I have no use for such nonsense. I think of myself as a very rational and somewhat detached observer of events. When George W. Bush came to my town a few weeks ago, however, I surprised myself.

When he entered the arena and the 10,000 or so in attendance cheered with earsplitting fervor, I found myself choking with emotion. "This is a good man," I thought, "This is a really good man," and I found myself yelling along with the crowd.

Believe me, not much chokes me up. The two times I saw George Bush during the 2000 campaign, I was intellectually persuaded he was the right candidate, certainly, but not emotionally overwhelmed. But this last time, I knew just how much is at stake. This is the man in whom we must place our trust as president. This is the man - unlike his opponent - who seeks the Lord's guidance on a daily basis and believes such guidance is forthcoming. This is the man who knows what he believes, and why, and endeavors to live and govern consistently with those beliefs. They don't change with the wind or opinion polls.

Perhaps I expect too much of my fellow citizens, that they actually take a long, hard look at their candidates. The Democrats consistently run without substance. We can't afford that approach this year, or any year in the immediate future.

[lodwick]

Afternoon satire:

| 28 Sep 2004 | Jake Novak


A recent Nielsen survey of viewing trends among Iraqi terrorists and insurgents shows more of them tune in to the conservative Fox News Channel than CNN (another popular U.S. news network) or Al Jazeera (an Iraqi news station) combined.

"In the key 15-25 year old would-be suicide bomber/terrorist demo, Fox just blows everyone away...no pun intended," said Nielsen said Susan D. Whiting, president and CEO of Nielsen Media Research.

"Getting my guys to wake up early in the morning and do a suicide bombing isn't as easy as it looks...sometimes they're just not motivated. But then the satellite feed comes in from Fox News, and I get motivation all over the place," said Shiite insurgent leader Mohammed al Sadr. "I mean, you can't watch that network for more than two minutes before they're calling my people 'thugs', 'blood-thirsty', and 'cowards'."

"You can't beat that for stirring the cauldron of hate, my friend," he added.

Al Qaida leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi also had high praise for Fox.

"I love how that Bill O'Reilly gestures to cut off a guest's mic when he disagrees with him! To tell you the truth that's exactly how we do most of our beheadings... but we're a little nicer," Zarqawi said. "We don't miss 'The O'Reilly Factor' for anything."

"Don't let this get out, but if Americans are looking to stay safe in Iraq, going out during his show is a good idea; you can't tear us away from the tube for the whole hour," Zarqawi added.

Other terror ringleaders, however, were less willing to praise Fox News than they were critical of the competition.

"We try watching CNN once in a while, but then that Aaron Brown comes on with that ridiculous phony hair or Daryn Kagen gets nailed by the Howard Stern phony phone callers, and all my guys want to do is laugh and enjoy life," said former Ba'ath party leader Ezzat Ibrahim, "and that's not exactly conducive to the whole suicide bombing thing, you know."

Al Sadr added another criticism.

"CNN's whole, 'let's try to be fair and sort out the facts first' approach is so lame," he said. "No wonder they're getting their asses kicked in the ratings."

Still, on the whole, most insurgents focus on their love of Fox News, evidenced by comments from some "on-the-street" interviews conducted by Nielsen surveyors.

"I hear a lot of people saying, 'Oh, suicide bombers are cowards, blah blah,' you know? But the truth is, it's hard to work up that much blind faith in your cause to go through with it," said one insurgent. "That's why Fox News is such a great thing. I watch their refusal to acknowledge reasoning and constant disregard to report news that may portray my people in anything but the worst light, and it just gives me that special murderous rage that I need."

"Fox News makes it easy to forget that not all Americans are thick-headed idiots," said another insurgent. "That really helps out with any guilt I might feel about attacking the U.S. Army over here."

In a similar statement, another Iraqi explained, "What I like to do is imagine Chris Matthews' face on the soldiers' faces. I know he's not on the Fox network, but he really should be."

[daisyscarlett]

Hear, hear, to what you said.

I had an appointment today with my esotician (I have unwanted facial hair and bushy brows) whom I see on a regular basis. She became a proud US citizen last year and ever since has been following the candidates and consistently asks me and her other candidates questions about Kerry vs Bush. She also went to see Michael Moore's movie and she was a bit anti-Bush for a while. Today she told me she is voting for Bush!!!She does not like Kerry at all says he has no "warmth" etc. Plus she thinks Mama T. is not up to being first lady especially in comparison to Laura, Nancy R. and Jackie. Made me feel so good that she did not fall for the liberal propoganda machine in this very Liberal state and I am sure she has more Liberal clients than Conservative ones....Professionally, she thinks Kerry has a "mystic" tan.

Here is Kerry in a nutshell, as seen by the Australian press:IMAGE IS A PROBLEM FOR KERRY

Senator Kerry, a former soldier who saved the lives of comrades in Vietnam, is trying to beat George Bush in the race to the White House, yet he will go into the first TV debate this week looking like, well, as Arnold Schwarzenegger might say, a "girlie-man". It is his own fault. Any image-maker could have told Senator Kerry that a man who wants to be president must be presidential in gait, manner and style. Senator Kerry has instead allowed himself to be photographed in bicycle shorts - tight ones. He recently went windsurfing while wearing flowered Spandex shorts.

Worse, Senator Kerry is French-speaking and rides a motorcycle while wearing a tie.

And he has a wife who is older and richer than he is, and who only grudgingly bears his name.

[BigWaveBetty]

We made it through again! Thanks for all the prayers, we needed them.

What's the one good thing about getting hit with three hurricanes you wonder? By the time the third one smacks your town there's not as much tree debris to pick up. Sure, it's a stretch but I'm trying to remain optimistic. I'm so optimistic I bought more ice cream today. Ha!

Now I've got to catch up on our thread, those pictures of Kerry in the bar are surreal. Pull my finger?! Ahahaha!!! I knew all that damn pointing would come to haunt Kerry eventually. :-)

[lodwick]

Great news! Hnag in there, friend.

[lodwick]

...or, HANG in there, friend.

Otherwise, be well.

[BigWaveBetty]

Did I hear correctly today that Kerry said his tan (aka pumpkin head syndrome) happened while playing football the day before? Only Kerry could get a tan at this time of day.

Democratic presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry (news - web sites), D-Mass, walks along the Charles River to play a game of football on the Esplanade in Boston Saturday, Sept. 25, 2004. (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)

What a freak.

[BigWaveBetty]

Hnag HANG

Doing both of those things. :-)

[Timeout]

Kerry's campaign tried the pancake makeup today to cover up that horrible "tan"...personally, I think it was a botched peel.

Didn't the donkeys learn anything from Algore's disastrous make up job in the first debate last time around?

[Iowa Granny]

I've come to the conclusion that sKerry's new look is the result of a combination of things:

Botox (note the absence of wrinkles in the area below the eyes all the way down to his chin), a Chemical Peel (notice how smooth his cheeks are) and some type of self tanning lotion or perhaps the new Spray on Tanning method where you strip down, don a shower cap, put vaseline type stuff of your fingernails and between your fingers and toes to keep those areas free from the staining spray.

[Iowa Granny]

Welcome Home! Our prayers have been answered again. Happy to hear your are safe. "Stuff" can be repaired or replaced. Lives cannot.

[BigWaveBetty]

What the heck?

Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry (news - web sites) holds a campaign promises card in Spring Green, Wisconsin.(AFP/Luke Frazza)

Uh-oh, we're done for now... Effin's got campaign promises cards!

How about that story today... CNN producer gets kidnapped yesterday in Gaza and was released 24 hours later. Wouldn't want the mouth organ for the PLO to get angry with their fellow terrorists now would we?

[BigWaveBetty]

Correctamundo IG! This time we didn't go pick up my FIL because we thought it would miss him. The storm came close to his house but everything is fine, just a few tree limbs down. This one hung around for quite a while with winds and rain but we (as in the BWB family and surrounding area) were lucky again and didn't get much damage. But boy, are we tired!

I hope Jeanne doesn't make trouble for folks north of us like Ivan did.

[daisyscarlett]

Welcome back BWB...bet you are exhausted but glad you are safe once again...

Don't know what caused Kerry's orange skin but you can bet your sweet bippy he is blaming someone on his staff or maybe even Mama T...Nothing is ever his fault. Can't wait to see what he looks like Thursday night and if he is still orange, wonder if he will crack a joke about it. Heard he won the coin toss and gets to answer the first question and has the last closing statement.

[daisyscarlett]

If you guys decide to Freep the Silky Pony, you may luck out and get to see one of the 9/11 widows who is travelling with him...

Sept. 11 Widow Joins Campaign

Oh my. There seems to be a mutual attraction here. (Mrs Edwards, perhaps you should rethink about campaigning separately from the Breck Girl)..