My understanding is that being Gay is something you either are, or aren't. Either you find your own sex attractive, or you don't, and either way, my belief is that God made you that way for a reason. It sounds like you are also afraid, just like I am of you. (I am a married heterosexual woman, just so you know.)
"Homosexuality" is an illness, like pedophelia. We all have "urges" of one kind or another -- as adults and good citizens we do not give into them.
Why do you think there is a correllation between pedophiles and homosexuals? Someone here can certainly get the info to you.
Statistics show that there are some life experiences for which homosexual men are disproportionately more likely to have had happen to them.
1. They had a poor relationship with their fathers.
2. They were sexually molested as children.
Not saying this is true in all cases, but it appears highly likely that there is a very significant "nurture" aspect to becoming an active homosexual. Humans being complicated, I hesitate to assign any firm allocations to "nature" and "nurture" -- nor do I have to. The question isn't about the fact of homosexuality, but rather the fact of how homosexuality should be addressed on the grounds of public policy and religion.
That issue boils down to the question of whether homosexuality is a Good Thing, which should be placed on a par with other sexual arrangements, such as heterosexual marriage (the benefits of which have been demonstrated over thousands of years). It is not. If it were, we would not be subject to the twin assaults of "accept me" and "pay for the medical consequences of my activities," which seem to define the terms of the issue of homosexuality.
Homosexuality is a disorder, and a departure from what is quite obviously the true nature of human sexuality. The homosexual agenda (if you will accept the term) is focused on trying to convince us that it's "no different," though of course it is. Note that there are no longer any legal bars to the expression of homosexual desires, other than age of consent laws (with which NAMBLA, among others, wishes to do away). What homosexuals now want, is for public policy to treat their disorder as being equal and indistinguishable from normal. And that's dishonest.
Of course, you realize that pedophiles, serial killers, and various other nasty folk appear to be "born that way." It is clear that "being born that way" is not sufficient grounds for normalizing any and all behavior.
Moreover, you're tacitly equating "born that way" to "this is a good thing." We must compare that, however, the idea among some in the "pro-choice" crowd that it is acceptable and right to abort children who suffer from some medical condition. Thus, even your own post suggests that you don't believe that "born that way" makes a condition "acceptable." Indeed, you would almost have to advocate a position in which "born gay" would be grounds for abortion.