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Posted on 08/05/2004 5:47:31 PM PDT by HairOfTheDog
Hmmm--I found the episode it's in by searching on "Monty Python Hell's Grannies" but haven't found a transcript.
Or "Eraserhead".
I've seen Memento. Twice. You have to see it twice to get just how well done - though disturbing, yes! - it is.
Yes, those are different types of disturbing :) "Mr. B. Natural" would be yet a third category of disturbing. . .
Hell's Grannies
(Sketch opens with a pan across Bolton. Voice of reporter.)
Voice Over: This is a frightened city. Over these houses, over these streets hangs a pall of fear. Fear of a new kind of violence which is terrorizing the city. Yes, gangs of old ladies attacking defenseless, fit young men.
(Film of old ladies beating up two young men; then several grannies walking aggressively along street, pushing passers-by aside.)
First Young Man (dressed like a biker with leather jacket, somewhat threatening looking): Well they come up to you, like, and push you - shove you off the pavement, like. There's usually four or five of them.
Second Young Man (also dressed as a biker): Yeah, this used to be a nice neighborhood before the old ladies started moving in. Nowadays some of us daren't even go down to the shops.
Third Young Man (once again as a biker): Well Mr. Johnson's son Kevin, he don't go out any more. He comes back from wrestling and locks himself in his room.
(Film of grannies harassing an attractive girl.)
Voice Over: What are they in it for, these old hoodlums, these layabouts in lace?
First Granny: (voice over) Well it's something to do isn't it?
Second Granny: (voice over) It's good fun.
Third Granny: (voice over) It's like you know, well, innit, eh?
Voice Over: Favorite targets for the old ladies are telephone kiosks.
(Film of grannies carrying off a telephone kiosk; then painting slogans like “make tea, not peace” on a wall.)
Policeman: (coming up to them) Well come on, come on, off with you. Clear out, come on get out of it. (they clear off, he turns to camera) We have a lot of trouble with these oldies. Pension day's the worst - they go mad. As soon as they get their hands on their money they blow it all on milk, bread, tea, tin of meat for the cat.
(Cut to cinema.)
Cinema Manager: Yes, well of course they come here for the two o'clock matinee, all the old bags out in there, especially if it's something like 'The Sound of Music'. We get seats ripped up, hearing aids broken, all that sort of thing.
(A policeman hustles two grannies out of the cinema. Cut to reporter walking along street.)
Reporter: The whole problem of these senile delinquents lies in their complete rejection of the values of contemporary society. They've seen their children grow up and become accountants, stockbrokers and even sociologists, and they begin to wonder if it is all really...(disappears downwards rapidly) arggh!
(Shot of two grannies replacing manhole cover. Cut to young half-stoned looking hippie couple.)
Young Man: Oh well we sometimes feel we're to blame in some way for what our gran's become. I mean she used to be happy here until she, she started on the crochet.
Reporter: (off-screen) Crochet?
Fourth Young Man: Yeah. Now she can't do without it. Twenty balls of wool a day, sometimes. If she can't get the wool she gets violent. What can we do about it?
(Film of grannies on motorbikes roaring down streets and through a shop. One has 'Hell's Grannies' on her jacket.)
Voice Over: But this is not just an old ladies' town. There are other equally dangerous gangs - such as the baby snatchers.
(Film of a couple with a baby carriage. The woman enters the shop and leaves the man and baby outside. Five men in baby outfits carrying off the man. Cut to distraught wife.)
Wife (sobbing): I just left my husband out here while I went in to do some shopping and I came back and he was gone. He was only forty-seven.
Voice Over: And on the road too, vicious gangs of keep left signs.
(Film: two keep-left signs attack a vicar.)
Colonel: (coming up and stopping them) Right, fight, stop it. This film's got silly. Started off with a nice little idea about grannies attacking young men, but now it's got silly. This man's hair is too long for a vicar too. These signs are pretty badly made. Right, now for a complete change of mood
Yeah, Samurai 7 just started in June, I think, so it's not licensed yet and it would probably be at least 18 months before you'd see some hideously mutated dub with all the gore taken out on Cartoon Network. Poor Katsushiro-sama would not be half so angst without the amazing seiyuu (voice actor, in this case actress)...
DSL? Go cable... Gah, 127 seeds, 3466 peers and 20kbs is the best you can do? I need my samurai fix now, since Those Who Dictate Anime have seen fit to deny me my FMA this week... I need a twelve-step plan for when the series ends this fall...
1. Get on DVD
2. Start with the last scene
3. As each scene ends, go to the previous one
ROFL! I need to see that :)
Did y'all get lots of rain from Charley? We didn't have any trouble at all. There was a bit of rain as we came through Pennsylvania this afternoon, but that wasn't from the hurricane.
"I need a twelve-step plan for when the series ends this fall..."
Step 1: Admit you have an anime problem.
Step 2: Solve problem by buying more anime.
Step 3: When you can't get new anime, buy manga.
. . .
We've only been to the Cape once since we've been here! We weren't that impressed. Once you've seen the 'Redneck Riviera', other shorelines pale in comparison! ;o)
Hi, Suzi! You've got some funkling to do :)
Oh, have you seen "The Usual Suspects"?
"Pension day's the worst. They get their check, and they blow it all on tea, milk, a tin of meat for the cat..."
I love Mystic and Newport. They are such fun places to just tool around in! I'd love to take Clare's Girl Scout troop to Newport for a camping trip.
Bad plan. I have a two-manga-per-month budget, unless I cut into my one-paperback-book-a-month fund. My anime fund is $10 for rentals, if I can get 'em, and $20 into the "buy FMA on dvd!!!111one!!" fund. Add in one trip to the movies, and that's my entire entertainment budget, per month, for the next hundred years.
I'm pretty much constrained to things coworkers give me (I'm not asking where they got, say, all 90 episodes of Naruto... I'm not saying no if they offer to loan me their Eva disks....) and unlicensed anime I can download from subbers.
Sigh... it must be nice to have real disposable income.
Hehehe...it's the skit after the one where the Mob tries to shake down the Army.
LOL! I think I'd better stay indoors on Pension Day from now on :)
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