[Alkhin]

thanks ... isnt that a rather basic human urge though : if you can insult someone and they dont catch on, then we think ourselves pretty clever? I guess I am of the mindset that if I want a person to know what I think of them, I will tell them, if not then I will keep my damn mouth shut because I dont want to hurt or have to explain myself? I tried to tell him thats what I was really reacting to, but he's thinking I am telling him not to write the book. And he got me good by pointing out that I had no problem with someone else doing the same thing on someone Im not terribly fond of.

Thing is, I don't particularly care to conceal my feelings about this person. If she finds out I would be willing to trash her, I'd at least be happy with the knowledge that the truth is out there.

I guess I hate subterfuge.

[Fedora]

I didn't hear the argument and I'm not sure I'm following everything, but going just by what you describe it sounds to me like you're right in the policy you advocate about either telling someone directly or not saying anything, but perhaps the way you said it made your husband a bit defensive and he's taking what you said differently than you meant it, which is what it sounds like he's reacting to. Again I didn't hear the conversation so this could be way off, but that's what I'm picking up from what you describe.