The Guild 5-21-2004 Things that make you go, hmmmm

[BigWaveBetty]

1 . Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

5. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

6. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

9. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

10. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. 13.. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me .....they're cramming for their final exam.

16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks , so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?

17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

20. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

21. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

Bonus:

This face wants to know, "When are people going to face the reality?"

[MaeWest]

...infamous John Ramsey

Of John and Patsy fame?

[mountaineer]

Bill Clinton attacks Bush over Iraq
By Tom Murphy and Angus MacSwan
23 May 2004

Bill Clinton said yesterday that the UN, not America, should be taking Iraq towards democracy, and that George Bush erred in forcing out UN weapons inspectors and going to war without UN support.

"There are so many people who suspect our motives," the former US president said in an address in Brazil. "I don't think Iraq was about oil and imperialism but it was about unilateralism over co-operation as a way to shape the world in the 21st century."

Mr Clinton said the best way to take Iraq to a democracy was multilaterally, with the UN in a leading role. He said the Bush administration should have given UN inspectors a final chance to look for the weapons which it had accused the Iraqi leader of hoarding.

Any military intervention, he said, should have involved a multinational force rather than the present "coalition of the willing".

His world view was one of the US supporting "the World Criminal Court, the comprehensive test ban treaty, the Kyoto [Protocol] and other international efforts". It included "promoting health, education and democracy as part of an anti-terrorism strategy". He added that those international organisations need to be strengthened.

Mr Clinton was speaking to 1,000 or so Brazilian business and political leaders at the inauguration of an institute set up by the former Brazilian president Fernando Cardoso.

"Democracy cannot be imposed - the Iraqis have to want it," he said. He backed the Bush decision to go to war in Afghanistan to "root out" al-Qa'ida, but "we have to make more partners and fewer terrorists". Co-operation and ensuring democracy benefited the world's poor would help combat terrorism.

Speaking about Israel and the Palestinians, he appealed to each side.Ariel Sharon's plan for unilateral withdrawal from the Gaza strip, while keeping West Bank settlements, had "potential merit" but only within a larger peace settlement. "If its aim is to humiliate the Palestinians, it's a negative. With its military might Israel can win on a [daily] basis... but this is a bad deal, this is no way to live."
http://news.independent.co.uk/world/americas/story.jsp?story=524022

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

Of John and Patsy fame?

That's the one. Patsy looked really good considering she has reoccuring cancer.

[MaeWest]

I thought they were active Dems in Colorado. Knew they had moved but did they have an epiphany?

[mountaineer]

I thought they were living in Georgia. In any event, I would think his infamy or notoriety wouldn't be helpful to the Republican party.

[They'reGone2000]

John Ramsey running as Republican candidate for Michigan house of representatives.

Appeared on Larry King's Alive last week. Who would have thunk it?

[BigWaveBetty]

#79 - Ms. Kerry has found a guy just like dear old dad it seems.

His world view was one of the US supporting "the World Criminal Court, the comprehensive test ban treaty, the Kyoto [Protocol] and other international efforts". It included "promoting health, education and democracy as part of an anti-terrorism strategy". He added that those international organisations need to be strengthened.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! Because as we can all see THAT strategy worked so very well right up until September 11th.

[BigWaveBetty]

Is it my comprehension skills or is this a horrible writer or is poor Nedra another victim of Kerry's inability to say anything concrete?

By NEDRA PICKLER, Associated Press Writer

BOSTON - John Kerry (news - web sites) on Monday sought to reassure anxious Bostonians that the Democratic National Convention will be good for the city amid concerns that businesses will suffer if Kerry does not accept the presidential nomination there.



"Boston will be open for business," Kerry told reporters aboard his campaign plane. "People will make a lot of money. We're going to have a full-fledged convention, and people are going to have a fantastic time."


The Massachusetts senator said no decision has been made about whether he will accept the nomination at the convention in late July or wait a few weeks to even the financial playing field with President Bush (news - web sites).


Both presidential candidates are expected to accept $75 million in public financing once they accept the nomination. But if Kerry is nominated at the Democratic National Convention, he'll have to stretch the money five weeks longer than Bush, who plans to accept the nomination at the Republican National Convention in early September.


Boston business owners and residents reacted angrily when police announced plans to close nearly 40 miles of major roads around Boston's FleetCenter, site of the convention.


Kerry said talk of anything being reduced during the convention "is silly."


"No decision has been made, but it will be a full-fledged convention with all the excitement and everything," he said. "What's important to me is that Boston is going to be open for business, people are sitting down, we're working through these issues."

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20040524/ap_on_el_pr/kerry_convention_1

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First business owners are concerned about his limpness concerning the nomination, then they're angry about the roads being closed and Effin' gives the same non answer...
Where in the story does it tell me that police will not close 40 miles of highway?

[lodwick]

...businesses will suffer if Kerry does not accept the presidential nomination there.

Huh?

Boston business owners and residents reacted angrily when police announced plans to close nearly 40 miles of major roads around Boston's FleetCenter, site of the convention.

40 miles of road closures will hammer businesses regardless of what ef does, or does not do, seems to me.

[BigWaveBetty]

Bostonians are being silly apparently. The great JFK has spoken!

[lodwick]

Campaigns should last no longer than two weeks...Lord, let it be November soon.

[BigWaveBetty]

I'm thinking the reporters on Kerry's beat wouldn't mind the campaign lasting into next year. Check out the wet bar on the campaign plane.

[BigWaveBetty]

"Mommy, help help!!!"

[lodwick]

Funny stuff - how do little kids instinctively know from whom to recoil in toddler-horror?

[BigWaveBetty]

Until their little brains are fully wired so they can understand "stranger danger" they must rely on instinct. Too bad so many of us ignore that little warning bell inside after we "grow up" and know everything.

Or it could just be time for a diaper change. :-)

[pubmom]

Notice the tyke's clenched fist. He's mighty ticked at his parents. I can only imagine what must be swirling through his little mind. His expression says "I'll get you someday for making me pose with this french-looking dork."

Do you think he told the wee one he was in Vietnam?

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

I think John Ramsey is originally from Michigan and Patsy is from Virginia.

They have had a very large and gorgeous home in northern Michigan for years.

I didn't take any photos of the Ramsey's and I didn't call the National Enquirer. I feel that these people need their privacy. Of course running for the state house isn't a very private thing to do, is it?

[mountaineer]

I think the bambino was telling Effin', "Hey John, everything I think of your politics is summed up by what I just deposited in my Pampers."

[BigWaveBetty]

Could be the tyke gotta gander at this monstrosity in addition to tales of Vietnam.

John Kerry President rather than John Kerry for President? Hmmmmm.

Dream on, fopboy.

[BigWaveBetty]

Ohio Democrats Still Learning to Like Kerry

"The enthusiasm may not be there for Kerry, but there is a great enthusiasm for getting rid of Bush, and that is going to send Kerry to the White House," said Jim Graham, president of United Auto Workers (news - web sites) Local 1112 in nearby Lordstown.

"My verdict is still out. I'm still looking," said Tommy Boggs of Lordstown, a Democrat, union officer and 29-year veteran of the Youngstown steel mills. "I like to see a man with dirt under his fingernails."

"There is some uneasiness there. He does not come across to working class people as well as some did," said Mike Rubicz, president of United Steelworkers Local 1375 in Youngstown.


"He's from a different class than we are. His wife is rich, we work for a living," said Rubicz, who expressed confidence Kerry would still roll up a huge vote advantage in northeast Ohio.


While several potential voters said they would not back Bush in November, they were still uncertain whether they would vote at all.

"We have a lot of guys out here suffering, and it doesn't seem like Kerry cares," Howes said. "I'm not sure what I'm going to do."

"He's kind of hard to figure out. A lot of people can't seem to read him very well," Connie Fowlis, a nurse from nearby Warren, said of Kerry.

"He was there, he's been in a war, that's a good person to have in charge. You want someone who has been in there and done it," said Jeff Judd of Warren, another locked out RMI worker who said he will vote for Kerry.

In the end, many Democrats said, the doubts about Kerry mean far less than their anger toward Bush, who will visit the Youngstown area on Tuesday.

"With Kerry, you know he would make the right decision. He's a Democrat," said Gary Gosser of Warren, a 35-year veteran of the steel mills.

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Mister Gary Gosser of Warren, Ohio, I have some swampland to sell you!