[BigWaveBetty]

The Republican attack machine wants you to think I'm not humorous, well I won't stand for that, it's time the truth is told and I will tell you exactly how many times I've been humorous. There have been exactly three times in my life I've been humorous. Except on our wedding night Teresa laughed out loud, but that was by accident she and she said she was sorry.

[BigWaveBetty]

Good Morning!!

[lodwick]

Outstanding.

Good Monday morning, everyone.

[Aquamarine]

Good morning! Enjoyed the article.
Kerry's humorous all the time, he just doesn't mean to be. :)

[They'reGone2000]

"Jack [Heinz] was my age. So I married a younger guy—they say women should. Cradle snatcher! I've always liked babies."

Kerry's Secret Sauce article

[Keltik]

bump

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

SADDAM CELEBRATES Saddam Hussein turned 67 on Wednesday. His U.S. captors made him the appropriate cake. It was devil's food.



SENATOR KERRY John Kerry is on the campaign trail. He describes his marriage to Teresa Heinz as one of give and take. She gives him an allowance and he takes it.

DOWNEY DIVORCE Robert Downey Junior his filed for divorce from model Deborah Falconer. Earlier in their marriage he was always on the road. Cleaning up the side of it.





AIRLINE ACHES US Airways lost 117 million dollars during the first quarter of 2004. Passengers aren't going to like the airline's new austerity measures. The in-flight entertainment features shadow puppets.

OLDS OUT The last Oldsmobile rolls off the assembly line Thursday in Michigan. The final car to be built comes with a factory guarantee. Five years, 50,000 rattles.
(Alan Ray - araycomedy.com)

Jacko Firing Michael Jackson fired defense lawyers Mark Geragos and Benjamin Brafman because he says they didn't give his case enough personal attention. Geragos and Brafman say while they were willing to meet with Jackson night and day to work on the case, they couldn't help but decline when Jackson kept asking them to sleep over.

Mama Hilton Paris Hilton's mother Kathy will star in her own reality series for NBC called "The Good Life." But TV experts say Mrs. Hilton was a better fit for the upcoming MTV series, "Pimp my Daughter."

Clinton Book Bill Clinton's long-awaited memoirs will be published in June with an initial printing of 1.5 million copies, which beats out Hillary Clinton's first printing of 1 million books. But that's because half the pages of Bill's books will be stuck together.

Yellow Submarine for Kids The Beatles' cartoon "Yellow Submarine" is being adapted into a children's book. It will be called: "Mommy and Daddy Used to Get Stoned."