The Guild 4-26-2004 Right-wing laugh riot

Washington Times ^ | 11-6-2003 | Laura Vanderkam

[BigWaveBetty]

One night last summer, radio host Larry Elder beckoned his listeners to the Ha Ha Cafe in North Hollywood to film a documentary lampooning liberal film maker Michael Moore.

Intrigued, producer Eric Peterkofsky showed up for the night's comedy. He listened as comic Jeff Wayne headlined the event with right-wing jokes rarely heard in comedy shows.

[Timeout]

Way to go on the Kerry-Freep! You look mahhhh-va-lous!

I'm not all that upset about the Specter win. I don't like him, never have. But Bush had some good reason for backing him. Arlen will likely become chairman of the Judiciary Committee. Has Bush extracted Arlen's cooperation? Seems he'd be pretty stupid to buck Bush after his close call. Just thinkin' out loud.

[BigWaveBetty]

A sweet little nugget from those helpful folks at BestoftheWeb:

If George Bush wants to make national security an issue in this campaign, I have three words for him that I know he'll understand. Bring it on!"--John Kerry, quoted in the New York Times, Feb. 1

"Call off the Republican attack dogs."--Democratic National Committee chairman Terry McAuliffe, responding to Dick Cheney's speech on John Kerry's defense record, quoted by the Associated Press, April 26

One more:

The World's Smallest Violin
Think you've got problems? Consider the plight of 35-year-old David Hitz, sensitively retold by the compassionate folks at USA Today. Hitz "returned to the USA last year after living in Britain for seven years," the paper explains. "He was shocked at the lack of economic opportunity compared with when he left the country during the boom years of the 1990s."

Oh sure, Hitz had a job when he came back to the U.S. But his wife couldn't find one for four long months. And that's not his only problem. ''In England, health care was abysmal and free," he says. "In the United States, it's abysmal and expensive." Houses are cars are pricier than they used to be, too.

Oh, and "summer vacation will be really expensive"--a complaint that somehow seems less poignant coming from someone who lives in Orlando, Fla.!

Hmmm, Mr. Hitz is a mortgage broker yet has no clue as to why the economic opportunities have waned since the dotcom boom. Yep, that's the kind of person I want handling my money! Good luck keeping your job after your boss reads the USA story Hitz.

[mountaineer]

I understand why GWB (and Santorum, for that matter) had to endorse Specter, though I don't believe either was half as enthusiastic about it as he tried to act. On another thread, the usual complaints are being trotted out about the endorsement, though, proclaiming they'll vote for the Democrat over Specter in November, and Bush betrayed conservatives, blah blah blah - the fine tradition of cutting off one's nose to spite one's face.

[Timeout]

Your post:

Kerry: "...where is my butl...er, uh, campaign aid with the bucket?"

Ha! Get a load of this front-page headline in today's NY Times:

Part Butler and Part Buddy, Aide Keeps Kerry Running

LOL! You're waaaaay ahead of them. (You don't think they're reading the Guild, do you?)

[Iowa Granny]

Arlen will likely become chairman of the Judiciary Committee.

I, too, understand the need for Bush and Santorum to endorse Arlen.

But I think he's going to quickly forget the help he got to win this Primary when he becomes Judiciary Chair. He can be a renegade for 5 years, then shape up in his final year IF he chooses to seek reelection. He's of the age that he might not run again, which could lead to 6 years of Loose Cannon stuff (or maybe I should have just said: More of the Same)

[BigWaveBetty]

"Michael always complimented [Farrakhan] on his clothes

Eh? Suppose it went something like: People that don't wear a bow tie are ignorant.

Ah did not send that envelope containing white powder to my office to deflect attention from my treasonous wife's big ugly mouth.

Former president Bill Clinton (news - web sites)'s office was briefly evacuated after a worker opened a package containing a suspicious powder, police said.

A Secret Service agent assigned to the Harlem office opened the package at about 11:45 a.m. Tuesday, police said. A letter and a vial of powder were inside.

Preliminary tests were negative for anthrax.

Clinton was not in the office when the package was opened. Not in the office? That's nothing new. Link

[BigWaveBetty]

(You don't think they're reading the Guild, do you?)

But of course they read the Guild. ;-)

[mountaineer]

Hmmm, white powder being delivered to the perpetually red-nosed Clinton? Whatever could it be?

[Timeout]

Check this out...

Kerry still "dodging" the SUV issue

[BigWaveBetty]

LOL! Cocaine connections; the real reason slick set up offices in Harlem?

[BigWaveBetty]

Great thread. I really like TC Rider's idea:

"Driving Mr. Kerry" Post #14.

[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

Hillary Abortion Rights: At last weekend's rally for abortion-rights, Senator Hillary Clinton said the Bush administration was filled with people who consider Roe v. Wade the worst abomination in our history. But the Bush Administration quickly denied that, reminding everyone that it actually believes Hillary Clinton is the worst abomination of in our history.


Estee Lauder Dies: Cosmetics queen Estee Lauder died last weekend at the age of 97. But thanks to her age-reducing make-up she doesn't look like she's been dead for more than 2 days.


Kerry Medal Flap: Republicans are attacking John Kerry for throwing away his Vietnam War combat medals at an anti-war protest. But the Kerry campaign is insisting he wasn't throwing them away, he was throwing them at Jane Fonda's head.


Gas Station Robbers: Two men who robbed a gas station in Connecticut waited on customers during the stick-up so motorists would not be suspicious. But the customers immediately knew something was wrong because it was the first time someone at the station actually spoke to them in English.

[Timeout]

And then there were the two Palestinian bandits who tried to rob a suicide bomber, wearing all the "tools" of his trade. He blew himself up and took them with him!

(This happened a couple of days ago.)

[BigWaveBetty]

Kerry on Hardball April 27, 2004.

MATTHEWS: What do those medals mean to you? There‘s been so much talk about these medals, and nobody‘s ever asked you what they meant to you. Obviously, winning the Silver Star, the Bronze Star, three Purple Hearts.

You‘ve saved them through thick and thin, through all changes of attitudes about the war. Why are they—what do they mean to you?

KERRY: Well, when you say saved them...

MATTHEWS: You‘ve got them. What do they mean to you?

KERRY: Yes, I‘ve got them. But—well, I‘m proud of them. I‘ve said that before. I said that in the beginning. I‘ve never expressed anything except pride for our actions—our, and I mean our boat, our men, the people I served with. I‘m proud of our service.

I‘ve said that in the days when I came back from Vietnam, even though things that were happening in larger policy I thought were wrong. And I talked about them.

But I think the way we tried to lead our lives, much of which is captured in Doug Brinkley‘s book, “Tour of Duty,” [I'm so wonderful! Read all about me!] was both honorable and in the best values and traditions of America. And I‘m proud of that.

**********************************

If I had been one of Kerry's crowd that followed his example of throwing his 'decorations' away to punctuate an important point, I'd be very disgusted to now find out the slug didn't really throw them but saved them. Thoughts like, I threw mine, they're gone, don't have an opportunity to rethink those actions, thanks Effin'!, are most likely percolating throughout the Vietnam Vet population.

Welcoming corrections if I'm off base.

[BigWaveBetty]

Those Palestinians, more fun the a barrel of monkeys!

Is Effin' sure he's the nominee? Doesn't seem so.

KERRY: People knew—there was no—you know, this is, I think, an effort by the Republicans to do what they always do. They did it to John McCain in South Carolina. They attacked him on an extraordinarily personal level.

Challenged his patriotism and the quality of his service in prison in Hanoi.

They took on Max Cleland, challenged his commitment to the defense of our nation and his patriotism.

And now they‘re trying to do it to me. And I‘m not going to let them do it. I‘m going to—you know, it seems to me that it—it shows how desperate they are. I mean, they are—here they are, the president of the United States of America, the vice president, in the month of April attacking a not yet even completely nominated nominee personally...

Technically correct, however... why say it? Trying to threaten us with, if you republicans get me booted out Hillary! will step in... ?

Also, perhaps I missed it, but I don't remember anyone disparaging John McCain's service in a PRISON CAMP!

[mountaineer]

I‘ve never expressed anything except pride for our actions—our, and I mean our boat, our men, the people I served with. I‘m proud of our service.

The minute he set foot back on U.S. soil, he (falsely) accused those men - the people he served with - of heinous crimes against humanity. I'm sure he's proud of that, too.

[Timeout]

At the time of the Bush/McCain face-off in South Carolina, there was a "swirl" in the media about rumors being spread about BOTH candidates.

The Howard Fineman-types never defined it, but we were led to believe some wacky right-wing religious zealots were spreading rumors about McCain being mentally unfit because of his POW years. There was also something about his wife. This was all just hinted at and I never have known what to make of it.

It was just enough to feed the donkey trash machine and try to separate McCain from the GOP (ala Jeffords). The media never got over their darling losing....they never grasped that it was a REPUBLICAN primary...IN SOUTH CAROLINA! And they call Dubya "dumb"?!

[lodwick]

Best bring the umbrella, just in case WeatherDudes are correct.

[BigWaveBetty]

No doubt he's very proud of it, along with all his cronies who won't admit to themselves Kerry is basically a war criminal.

Rarely do I LOL at the first paragraph of a story, check it out.

This is a tale of two John Kerrys. The good John Kerry who can connect with a crowd as a compelling speaker.

And this at the end, a delicious tidbit.

Minutes before Kerry was scheduled to speak, someone noticed there was no flag in front of the cameras—or the woman who was supposed to deliver the pledge of allegiance. Two frantic Democratic operatives ran round the back of the crowd with the Stars and Stripes screaming: “Take it to the stage!” Never mind the questions about his patriotism. Kerry still has to answer the question about being ready for prime time. Link

Swirling le bowl.

[lodwick]

Looking fine there.