KERRY RUNNING MATE BATTLE ERUPTS

A new hopeful has entered the race for the Senior Butt Kisser half of the democratic presidental nomination.

John McCain, a senator who really scares me, is pretending he is not interested in being John Kerry's running mate this November.

By now, all realize that even the great and courageous veteran, John Kerry himself is aware that he is lying every time his lips move, But John Cain actually seems to believe the prevarications he utters every time his lips move.

This makes him either a pathological liar, a sociopath, or a senile fool like your uncle Harry who always comes to family gatherings without his pants on.

I'm not sure which is worse.

Now John Edwards is likely to be thrown into a jealous rage when he finds out about John McCains coy effort to undermine Edwards place as the pre-eminent Butt-Kisser of the Kerry campaign. This situation has the potential to drive him back into his ferret addiction he so recently has attempted to leave behind.

I for one would enjoy a good bitch-slapping fight between a senile maniac and a demented ambulance chaser with delusions of grandeur. I bet it would make big bucks on pay per view if.....wait, I aplogize. I am taking liberties with these pillars of the "worlds greatest deliberative body".

Anyway, It will be an exciting week to see who wins: the coy, meaningful glance approach taken by McCain, or the full blown idol worship/butt kissing of Edwards. I can not even begin to guess who will ahhh...prevail.

Last, but not least, I have decided to do an in-depth investigative expose' on the underground ferret owners living in California. Recently, I interviewed several illegal ferret owners and one question asked of each ferret owner was if they dressed up their ferrets in crudely sewn animated charcters like John Edwards had with his ferret, Spike.

Each and every person interviewed was AGHAST that a ferret could be treated in such a brutish manner.

Most who preferred to dress up their ferrets went to a Russian seamstress named Anatolia Spasibo. Ms. Spasibo, A woman with more facial hair than I, has created a line of costumes that allow for freedom of movement, (a must for ferrets), attractive and gay colors, (happy looking), and most importantly are almost perfect copies of costumes worn by CHER in her last four farewell tours!

I can see why they were so upset to learn of Senator Edwards sub-standard Winnie the Pooh costume for Spike.

I am editing my tapes and outlining the text of the article and should have it posted next week. Until then, I will do my best to provide updates of the Presidential race seen from my.... ahhhh unique perspective.

Good Night

1 posted on 04/02/2004 10:54:35 PM PST by MrFine

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2 posted on 04/02/2004 10:55:17 PM PST by Support Free Republic (Your support keeps Free Republic going strong!)

Thank you, Mr. Fine.

3 posted on 04/02/2004 10:57:26 PM PST by zarf (..where lieth those little things with the sort of raffia work base that has an attachment?)

His VP Choice will be the News Media.

4 posted on 04/02/2004 10:57:55 PM PST by GeronL (Hey, I am on the internet. I have a right (cough, cough) to write stupid things.)

McCain may be picked and he would accept in a heartbeat. He has one big liability that he and Kerry both share. CANCER. That could stop the issue right in its tracks.

5 posted on 04/02/2004 10:58:33 PM PST by Texasforever (I can’t kill enough brain cells to become a democrat just by drinking.)

Sadly,
You are correct. But at least there is the blog to counter the lies....

6 posted on 04/02/2004 10:59:19 PM PST by MrFine

Then the Blogosphere needs to be manned 24-hours a day

7 posted on 04/02/2004 11:02:06 PM PST by GeronL (Hey, I am on the internet. I have a right (cough, cough) to write stupid things.)

A finger in the wind...

8 posted on 04/02/2004 11:19:27 PM PST by binger

Thank you, I laughed and woke my wife...

9 posted on 04/02/2004 11:20:34 PM PST by MrFine

To: Texasforever

He has one big liability that he and Kerry both share.

One?

John McCain Is No "Hero POW"

Kerry/Edwards

10 posted on 04/02/2004 11:22:39 PM PST by PRND21

I don't think it will be Edwards. He brings nothing to the table. He is not going to help win a southern state. McCain would be good for a couple of months high intensity media coverage due to the "split ticket" aspect and it could be enough to keep Kerry's numbers up through his convention but the double cancer thing would slowly be inserted in the post convention run for the finish line.. If it isn't McCain I would guess some Midwestern state governor.

11 posted on 04/02/2004 11:29:34 PM PST by Texasforever (I can’t kill enough brain cells to become a democrat just by drinking.)

To: Texasforever

He brings nothing to the table

Nor did Kemp.

12 posted on 04/02/2004 11:42:55 PM PST by PRND21

Well for that matter neither did Dole. Damn that was mean because Dole is a good and decent man but he should have never ran for president.

13 posted on 04/02/2004 11:44:51 PM PST by Texasforever (I can’t kill enough brain cells to become a democrat just by drinking.)

To: Texasforever

Don't be so quick to assume that McCain would accept the offer. With his age and health he is in his end game but I don't think it is with the Democrats. He is looking at the history books and, compared to Hayden and Goldwater, he casts the short shadow. He has more leverage as a maverick Republican than as Kerry's french poodle. I see no unusual activities amoung his staffers. He may flirt but he ain't the marryin' kind. He is still co-chair of Bush's reelection committee in Arizona.

14 posted on 04/02/2004 11:46:20 PM PST by MARTIAL MONK

To: MARTIAL MONK

At the rate McCain is going he'll soon start a hot-air balloon hobby and turn gay.

15 posted on 04/02/2004 11:48:40 PM PST by Fledermaus (Ðíé F£éðérmáú§ ^;;^ says, "I give Dick Clarke's American Grandstand a 39...you can't dance to it.")

To: Support Free Republic

Kerry will pick Bob Graham from Florida.

Without Florida Kerry can't win no matter what !

I don't think Graham will win it for him but it woul be his best shot. Jeb Bush has done very well for the state and their economy is doing gangbusters! Graham is a wack job and most in the state know it and the Bush machine will tear him apart for sure.

16 posted on 04/02/2004 11:49:54 PM PST by america-rules (It's US or THEM so what part don't you understand ?)

To: MARTIAL MONK

If he hasn't made his mark as the "maverick" yet he will never do it. His only real shot now is being the first "republican" on a democrat ticket, I think, in history. Now that is "maverick" writ large.

17 posted on 04/02/2004 11:52:13 PM PST by Texasforever (I can’t kill enough brain cells to become a democrat just by drinking.)

To: america-rules

I think the most likely running mate will be Elizabeth Taylor. And a torrid romance will ensue.

18 posted on 04/02/2004 11:55:13 PM PST by MrFine

To: Texasforever

I see Kerry as a similar "pass" and agree about Dole.

Rice vs. Hillary 2008? ;)

19 posted on 04/02/2004 11:55:37 PM PST by PRND21

(In case anybody missed THIS from McCrazy)

Maverick McCain Rips GOP
The Boston Herald ^ | 4/2/04 | Noelle Straub

Posted on 04/02/2004 10:16:12 AM EST by Gothmog

WASHINGTON - Sen. John McCain yesterday unleashed an attack on his own party, saying the GOP is ``astray'' on key issues and criticizing President Bush [related, bio] on the war in Iraq.

``I believe my party has gone astray,'' McCain said, criticizing GOP stands on environmental and minority issues.

``I think the Democratic Party is a fine party, and I have no problems with it, in their views and their philosophy,'' he said. ``But I also feel the Republican Party can be brought back to the principles I articulated before.''

The maverick senator made the remarks at a legislative seminar hosted by U.S. Rep. Martin T. Meehan (D-Lowell) as he again ruled out running on a ticket with Democrat John F. Kerry.

The Arizona Republican took on President Bush for failing to prepare Americans for a long involvement in Iraq, saying, ``You can't fly in on an aircraft carrier and declare victory and have the deaths continue. You can't do that.''

McCain said the U.S. should seek more U.N. involvement in Iraq. ``Many people in this room question, legitimately, whether we should have gone in or not,'' he said, adding that that debate ``will be part of this presidential campaign.''

20 posted on 04/02/2004 11:55:56 PM PST by Lancey Howard (Un-friggin-believable.)

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