Got this from SSQ'a sister the other day. Fits perfectly with Arhg's sentiment.
Three New Hampshire surgeons were having lunch together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon around. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident. I reattached them, and 8 months later, he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."
The second surgeon said, "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in a terrible accident. I reattached them, and 2 years later, he won 2 gold medals in field events in the Olympics."
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a guy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a neck tie. He's now trying to get the Democratic nomination for President of the United States!"