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Gee, even my GUESTS help a bit...put up the perishables and such if we're gonna sit around and visit afterward!

You gotta be firm, Rosie...it really is all up to you. If they ask to come over, right up front you gotta tell 'em, "Sure! But only if you'll help me clean up afterward, I'm exhausted in the evening and it's too much work for me without help!"

But if you ASK THEM over, then (even though they are FAMILY and ought to know better...but they seem to DON'T)...you can expect they won't help you. You can ask, but don't expect it.

What I would do, being the way I am, is this...I'd mention the wonderful supper I have planned. Just mention it. Say "Oh, I can't wait to get home, I made the best beef stew! I'm gonna bake up a skillet of cornbread and enjoy a nice hot satisfying meal tonight!" Then wait. If they say "Wow! Is there enough for me?" Say..."Well, there is, but the mess after you guys leave is always so overwhelming...takes me forever to clean up. I'd be happy to have you over if you promise to just spiff up after yourself!"

If, after you mention the delectable meal, they don't say anything...don't invite them. Put the leftovers in the fridge for yourself.

Just invite them when you're willing to clean up after them.

Gees, did your mom let them get away with this? My jedis even clean up their plates after themselves!

Just invite them when you're willing to clean up after them.

That's prolly what it'll come down to.

It isn't that they're intentionally trying to make my life hard. It's just that it doesn't OCCUR to them to do things any other way. And if I constantly point things out time and time again, I feel like a horrible nag...which they already see me as.

Time for a meeting.