[Lil'freeper]

Morning all! I'm back.

I want to thank all of you for your prayers and kind words, they were truly a comfort to me and my family and we're grateful. (I'll just skip trying to list everyone in the TO line- since there were so many I'm bound to forget someone.)

My heart is so full I could write a book- lucky for you I don't know where to start. Someday a memoir or journal will come of this experience.

My father passed away in the wee hours of the 8th. It was fast, it was quiet, it was peaceful, and it was a blessed release. He had been living with weakend heart/lungs for over a decade and every respriatory infection as potentially fatal. His heart/lung capacity was severely diminished with every infection he survived. When the doctors finally admitted that there was no recovering from this one, that the rest of his body was shutting down too, they signed an order for hospice. That was the day my brother and I arrived.

That very day he roused himself, sat up, took some water, and we visited, shared memories and some laughs. We learned later that this is a normal part of the death process- a surge of spiritual energy for final goodbyes. We are so blessed to have had that time together. As the rest of the family gathered the next day he slipped into unconsciousness and then later on in the night when just mom was there he passed on.

I cannot praise hospice enough. They turned a heartbreaking nightmare into a beautiful thing. They taught us about death and grief- the process, what to look for, and what is normal. They gave us a place to gather and stay- and it was quiet. No buzzers, beeps or alarms. No "visiting hours". The nurses were unobtrusive and calm and tender. It was so unhospital-like. And when he was gone, they didn't hurry us out of the room.

This is how passing should be. A time of family, faith and peace. We were so blessed and I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

The days that are followed are a blur- with arrangements, the memorial, visitors, many many trips to and from the airport for spouses and family. We celebrated the memory of a great man- from a generation unlike any other. I'm missing him an awful lot and probably will for a very long time. But the dominant emotion right now is thanksgiving.

I've written waaaay to much here, so I'll close by thanking you once again for the kind thoughts and prayers. Y'all are the best.

[RMDupree]

I'm praying for you.

[2Jedismom]

I'm just in tears here, Lil'...I'm so grateful you had that time with your dad. I know you have never been far from our thoughts and prayers while you were gone.

God bless ya, sis...

[RosieCotton]

Lil'freeper...it sounds like your father had a beautiful death - I know there is such a thing. My mother's passing was very peaceful, too. It was still the hardest thing I've ever endured, though. Even knowing I'll see her again doesn't make it simple to let go. The hardest thing for me was that because she was on pretty serious pain meds, Mom didn't have the visiting time you experienced. I still feel like I have so much to say to her - and most importantly, to ask her.

I could second everything you said about hospice. For us, it was in-home care, and the nurses were just wonderful.

[Wneighbor]

HUGS! LF, you said so many things that reflect what happened just those few months ago with Grama. I am so glad this ended with you being able to be thankful. It would be so much more difficult to get through these things without that in our spirits. All my love to you and your family. I am thankful that God is carrying you through this right now.

[Corin Stormhands]

Welcome back LF. Thank you for sharing. We've been missing you here, but also praying for and thinking about you.

I'm glad your father's passing was peaceful. We know from my f-i-l's death, hospice is a wonderful thing.

Never worry about talking too much here. Certainly doesn't stop the rest of us. ;-)

[HairOfTheDog]

Beautiful LilFreeper! I am sorry that he is gone. - I am so glad for you that you got that chance to be with him.

Prayers for you now as you de-escalate from that whole experience, and are forced to return your attention to the trivial and unimportant stuff we do. I do think you will enjoy writing it all down if you find enough quiet time to sit now.

[My back yard]

So very touching to read your synopsis of these events. Sad times I know. I'm glad you had a nice visit with your dad before he passed. Prayers are for you and your family today.

[SuziQ]

(((Lil Freeper))) with my tear filled eyes.