Dating game becoming more like a chore

Winston-Salem Journal ^ | Thursday, January 8, 2004 | Kate Zernike

[LisaMalia]

But I'm for real.

Yeah, me too. Probably too real...*sigh*

[Lazamataz]

Back me up ovah heah, hah? I got a Tony Soprano build dese days, right?

Beefy but no longer friggin fat, hah?

[DragonflyX]

I use an online service because otherwise I would get about one date a year. I joined several activity groups hoping to meet some nice single woman with absolutely no luck. I have no friends or relatives who introduce me to women and the ones I meet at work usually don't want to go out with someone from work. I am not using the service to screen women, I am using in order to just meet real live breathing women that are looking for relationships. I am not a looser. I have a good job, all my hair, very few debts, and am probably slightly above average in the looks department. It is just really hard to meet eligible women these days and if you have not been dating in the last 7 or 8 years you have no idea what it's like.

I was married and overseas for the early part of the 90's and when I got back to the states and my wife decided she would rather do something else besides be my wife, the dating scene in the US was unrecognizable to me

[sweetliberty]

"Maybe it's because I'm also intelligent and I know that I can't judge all men because of a few idiots."

.

[DragonflyX]

Be careful, I was cyberstalked by one of those fine freeperettes.

[Rebelbase]

" I was short"

Don't fret about that, I think short chicks are cute. :-)

[Havoc]

Hey, I just sympathized based on my own experience. I didn't degrade anyone. I've been through enough crap at the hands of women I trusted (because of their motivations) that I'm not going to sit here and defend myself for the beatings I've taken for misjudging motives of the women I've dated. I've had their shoes wiped on me already, you can clean yours elsewhere, thank you. I'm not hostile toward women; but, I've had enough abuse for a while and am being far more cautious about who I involve myself with. I'm also far less trusting of my own judgement so they have to fully pass muster before friends and family or they're gone.

[Rytwyng]

use an online service because otherwise I would get about one date a year

Ha! That was exactly my story. There wasn't anything wrong with me, either, but, I just didn't meet eligible, non-psycho women with any regularity.. til I turned to the Net.

As I noted several posts ago, it worked for me. I met my wife on the net. So don't give up.

[HitmanLV]

I hope you can be understanding when the house falls apart... (etc)

Actually I am a bachelor in my mid 30s and can take care of myself (I'm a better cook than any women I have ever met under the age of 40), and fully plan on real support (phsyical and emotional, and not just financial support) for many of those situations you mention.

In fact, sweats instead of a housedress and a house full of sick kids's isn't exactly my dream, but I'd be a fool or a liar if I said it wasn't part of the dream - the part I don't think of first. In fact, they have a quirky romantic aspect to them, well, as quirky as cleaning up after vomiting kids can be! ;-)

But to quote Willy Wonka, a wise man indeed, when it comes to the situations you mention, "I can think of worse things."

And Roberto Benigni summed it all up in the title to one of his Italian films - 'Life is Beautiful.' Truly, I think it is.

[Tax-chick]

I wish you the best - it sound like you've got good plans. Just remember, "No plan survives contact with the enemy." You have to be ready to improvise.

[Tax-chick]

I'm still short, but it hasn't been too much of a problem. We just have to make sure important things get stored on low shelves!

[Our man in washington]

Well, yes. One's risk level is never zero in the dating field, no matter the means of meeting someone. Sorry about the bad experience.

But my experience so far has been pretty good with freeperettes. Haven't had any romance with any freeperettes yet, but all the single ones I've met would make good wives for someone. Unfortunately, nothing clicked.

But one must always be careful. We don't issue any tests to joining Free Republic other than "can you go 24 hours after you sign up without posting some stupid leftist article?" (Amazing how many people fail even that test. But I digress.)

Anyway, your warning is well-taken.

[Rytwyng]

Here's an old thread worth reviving:

Why White Men Prefer Asian Women

My wife is white, but she's decidedly an exception to the mainly accurate generalizations in the article.

[Lazamataz]

I have a good job, all my hair, very few debts, and am probably slightly above average in the looks department. It is just really hard to meet eligible women these days and if you have not been dating in the last 7 or 8 years you have no idea what it's like.

I've got a business startup where I'm scraping to make ends meet (right now, it should get MUCH better), tons of debts, and I look like a bar of radium in a dumpster, I live in an extended stay hotel and my idea of fine dining is Ramen Noodles.

But I gotta fight chicks off with a stick.

No, I don't want to trade places. :o)

[LisaMalia]

when I got back to the states and my wife decided she would rather do something else besides be my wife, the dating scene in the US was unrecognizable to me

Hey, her loss. And the dating scene these days is unrecognizable to most sensible adults these days. I've come to the conclusion that it's better to be alone than to be with the wrong person.

[Lazamataz]

" I was short"

Don't fret about that, I think short chicks are cute. :-)

If any post you write ends with the phrase "so there's a place to put my beer" I am going to give you such a hit.

[SCalGal]

Finding a conservative woman with all of the democrats around here is like looking for the Holy Grail. Liberal women run when they see that I am an honorably discharged veteran, collect weapons, don't smoke dope or worship lesbos and rear admirals, and go to church.

I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time. Perversly, it makes me feel a little better that I'm not the only one...

[buwaya]

Hey, my wife is a Democrat. Just don't lay it on thick, and they'll grow into it.

[HitmanLV]

Haha! Thanks! I'm flexible and realistic. The dream girl is just a dream - the real one should just resemble her I suppose.

It's just nice for people to be on the same page going into something as significant as marriage. I'm frank about the basic roles I expect the parties to have.

I've taken some lumps for it, and I've enjoyed some admiration for my direct, blunt, unapologetic, and unambiguously masculine worldview!

Thanks again for the good wishes and God bless.

[429CJ]

I got divorced after a 28 year marriage just this last year. I took country/western dance lessons and started going out weekly to the largest c/w dance club here in Tulsa about 4 months ago and have found it incredibly easy to meet and date women I met while out dancing. Attractive, quality women, not drunks (many only drink water or soda pop) or sluts. I don't know why men find it hard to get dates. If you can dance (not that hip-hop stuff but couples stuff) you can meet women.