[JustAmy]

There's a charming story about a successful CEO who was traveling with his wife along an interstate highway when he noticed the car was low on gas. He got off the highway at the next exit and soon found a rundown, one-pump gas station. The CEO asked the attendant to fill the tank and check the oil, then went for a little walk to stretch his legs.

As he returned to the car, the husband noticed that the attendant and his wife were engaged in an animated conversation. The conversation stopped as the CEO paid the attendant. But as he was getting back into the car, he noticed the attendant wave and heard him say, "It was great talking to you again."

When they drove off, the CEO asked his wife if she knew that man. She said, "Yes, in fact we went to high school together and dated steadily for about a year."

"Boy, were you lucky that I came along," bragged the husband. "If you had married him, you'd be the wife of a gas station attendant instead of the wife of a successful chief executive officer."

"Oh honey," replied the wife, "if I had married him, he'd be the chief executive officer and you'd be the gas station attendant."

[JustAmy]

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
(Texas Style)

'Twas the night before Christmas
In Texas, you know,
Way out on the prairie,
Without any snow.
Asleep in their cabin
Were Buddy and Sue,
A'dreamin' of Christmas,
Like me and you.
Not stockings, but boots
At the foot of their bed,
For this was in Texas,
What more need be said.

When all of a sudden
From out the still night,
There came such a ruckus
It gave me a fright.

And I saw 'cross the prairie
Like a shot from a gun,
A loaded up buckboard
Come out at a run.

The driver was geein'
And hawin' with will,
And horses, not reindeer,
He drove with such skill.

C'mon, Buck and Poncho,
And Prince to the right,
There'll be plenty travelin'
For y'all tonight.

The driver, in Levis
And a shirt that was red,
Had a 10-gallon Stetson
On top of his head.

As he stepped from his buckboard
He was really a sight,
A beard and a moustache
So curly and white.

As he burst in the cabin,
The children awoke,
And were both so astonished
That neither one spoke.
He filled up their boots
With such presents galore
That neither could think
Of a single thing more.

When Buddy recovered
The use of his jaws,
He asked in a whisper,
'Are you Santa Claus?'

'Am I the real Santa?
Well, what do you think?'
And he smiled as he gave
A mysterious wink.

Then he leapt in the buckboard
And said in his drawl,
'To the children of Texas,
Merry Christmas, y'all!'

[Caipirabob]

"Oh honey," replied the wife, "if I had married him, he'd be the chief executive officer and you'd be the gas station attendant."

LOL! There's a "John F. Kerry" joke in there somewhere, I just know it...