[Ramius]

Sometimes, Rose, there isn't a good thing to be done but only the thing that must be done.

My grandfather was afflicted with ALS. It is a horrible thing to be around. In the last several months of his life he had no idea that he was still being cared for at home. We had set up what amounted to a hospital room in our home, and we had nurses coming by with some frequency to make sure all was well. But he thought he had been put away in some nursing home, and he hated everything about it. There was nothing we could do to convince him otherwise.

We did everything possible for him, and everybody was there every day for him, but he died thinking he was left alone in a nursing home.

[Rose in RoseBear]

Sometimes, Rose, there isn't a good thing to be done but only the thing that must be done.

I'm still telling myself that, Master Sea-man.

I thought I was okay about it until I ran into this guy I'd chased in high school; he knew my mother the way she'd been back then. He was horrified when I told him I'd put my mother in a nursing home, and for a while, I was very efficient at punishing myself for my lapse in daughterly duty. Turns out, I wasn't as okay about the whole thing as I'd thought. I had my reasons, and they were good, but ...

I take the whole thing out and re-examine it every now and then, and I wonder what she thought during her flashes of awareness. Only lately have I been able to truly see that I couldn't've taken any other course in regards to her care.

Needs must where the devil drives, you know?

[msdrby]

You wanna hear something ironic? Grandpa, who has been in a nursing home for the past 20+ years, outlived my grandma (his wife), who passed away New Years Eve, 2002. Grandpa is a WWII vet, and still kickin', well not kicking exactly (he had a paralizing stroke in '82), but hangin in there at least. She has always been healthy as an ox. He has been in extremely poor health most of his life, and we never dreamed he would live longer than Grandma.

i'm still awake...