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Two factory workers were talking.
"I think I'll take some time off from work." said the man.

"How do you think you'll do that?" said the blonde.

He proceeded to show her...by climbing up to the rafters, and hanging upside down. The boss walked in, saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asked him what on earth he was doing?

"I'm a light bulb" answered the guy.

"I think you need some time off," said the boss.

So, the man jumped down and walked out of the factory. The blonde began walking out too. The boss asked her where did she think she was going?

The blonde answered, "Home. I can't work in the dark."

Snowflakes

Out of the bosom of the Air,
Out of the cloud-folds of her garments shaken,
Over the woodlands brown and bare,
Over the harvest-fields forsaken,
Silent, and soft, and slow
Descends the snow.

Even as our cloudy fancies take
Suddenly shape in some divine expression,
Even as the troubled heart doth make
In the white countenance confession,
The troubled sky reveals
The grief it feels.

This is the poem of the air,
Slowly in silent syllables recorded;
This is the secret of despair,
Long in its cloudy bosom hoarded,
Now whispered and revealed
To wood and field.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

ha! ha!
The Talking Dog
A guy sees a sign in front of a house "Talking Dog for Sale."
He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks. "Sure do." the dog replies. "So, what's your story?" The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young, and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. "The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.
I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. "Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says, "Ten dollars." The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Cause he's a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."
________________________________________________

ROFL !!

Howdy everyone!

The Bat

I discover him, a diminutive velvet teardrop,
hanging head down in the cold stone shadow
of a casement window near the marketplace
in the oldest part of town.
He must have flown there at dawn,
believing himself secure in his own private cave.
I lift him gently by his bony feet
and place him in the mesh folds
of my shopping bag,
where he fastens himself drowsily, unperturbed.
I will carry him home
to show my three small children
the special charm
of this much maligned scourge of mosquitoes
and other night-flying insects.
That evening at dusk
the enraptured children and I go into the garden
to observe as our guest
crawls from his temporary sleeping place
toward the scrap of raw meat
I have placed in the fork
of the redleaf plum.
He uses the set of delicate claws at the curve
of his twig-boned gray suede wings
to move smoothly down the branch headfirst,
opening his tiny, tooth-studded maw
as he happily devours our offering
with a curling pink tongue.
He finishes his meal with aplomb,
stares at us briefly from onyx button eyes,
then spreads his halfmoon wings
and skims soundlessly away
into the falling summer night.

-- Sue Littleton