[JustAmy]

A blonde is driving down the road. She notices that she is low on gas, so she stops at the gas station. While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she had locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, the blonde asks the attendant for a coat hanger so she can attempt to open the door herself.

She goes outside and begins to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant goes outside to see how the blonde is faring. The blonde outside of the car is moving the hanger around and around.

Meanwhile, the blonde inside of the car is saying, "A little more to the left. A little more to the right ... "

[JustAmy]

I Married The Marine Corps
Author Unknown

Oh, I am a Marine wife.
I know because I see
That everywhere I go now
That is my identity.

I love my Marine so much,
It is him that I did marry
But without my trusty ID card
I can't go to the commissary.

I stood there at the altar
Thinking I would be his wife
But he had already said I DO
And made the Marines his life.

In my heart I know just how he feels
I know I am his only,
But when he left to do his thing
I felt so sad and lonely.

I was never one to do things the easy way
So I married a Marine
I knew a husband could get on your nerves
So I have one that is seldom seen.

It is like the eternal honeymoon
Gone for days and then comes home.
When he is on my last nerve
They take him somewhere to roam.

If I did not like his leaving-
His command would say "Who Cares?"
A wife is not issued in boot camp-
Along with his other wares.

So, I married the Marine Corps
The Brotherhood of Men.
I know he will come home soon
But I hurry up and wait until then.

[MeekOneGOP]

LOL !

[lonestar]

A rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer are in a car. They run out of gas, and are forced to stop at a farmers house. The farmer says that there are only 2 extra beds, and one person will have to sleep in the barn.

The Hindu says, "I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn," so he goes out to the barn. In a few minutes, the farmer hears a knock on the door. It's the Hindu and he says, "There is a cow in the barn. It's against my beliefs to sleep with a cow."

So the rabbi says, "I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn." A few minutes later, the farmer hears another knock on the door and it's the rabbi. He says that it is against his beliefs to sleep where there is a pig and there is a pig in the barn.

So the lawyer is forced to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door. It's the pig and the cow.