Posted on 10/07/2026 12:36:28 PM PDT by DFG
U.S. — The nation has reportedly slipped into a period of deep sadness and introspection after learning that Iran may not actually nuke Los Angeles.
Following a misunderstood statement by President Trump that it would be a "small price to pay" for Iran to nuke LA and San Diego, the nation was upset to learn there is no imminent threat to the City of Angels and that it would not, in fact, be destroyed.
"There are no words to express my disappointment," said John Glenn of Arizona. "I mean, I'm glad San Diego is going to be okay, but I was really hoping LA would get hit with an atomic blast and fall into the sea. That would have really made my day."
Trump has reportedly ordered flags to be lowered to half-staff following the sudden realization that LA would not be torn apart in a flash reaching 180 million degrees Fahrenheit, irradiating the landscape for years to come, preventing Hollywood from ever rebuilding, and scattering the bodies of the Hollywood elite into the wind.
But not all of the regret was focused on Hollywood. Some were just upset that the Dodgers might have another shot at the World Series.
"They can't keep getting away with it!" said local sports fan Lyle Wann.
At publishing time, Americans continued to hold out hope that an earthquake would do to LA what Iran would not.
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“American Jews tend to favor Democratic candidates, with 71% of Jewish voters choosing Democratic candidates on average and 26% choosing Republicans since 1968.”
https://jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jewish-voting-record-in-u-s-presidential-elections
Sorry facts override your feelings, you special little snowflake
oh and if you are gonna throw around leftist insults like “antisemite” you may as well accuse me of being homophobic and transphobic and pedophobic while you are at it (All which I will proudly admit I am)
Sigh.
You want to hate “city folk”?
Fine. I love the Bee and I know it’s a joke - and I like jokes, but can we PLEASE stop shooting principled conservatism in the foot?
The standard media are already using this crap against Republicans in the midterms. DJT flubbed the joke - whatever, who cares - his point was obvious.
But as an “urban hellhole” conservative that would DEARLY love to see a course change locally and votes R federally, do you really not understand how this crap is counterproductive?
You want to hate cities? Fine. Nobody is saying you have to live in one and you’re free to not even visit. It’s a free country.
This crap drives me nuts. I pay a LOT of taxes - I mean a LOT - even just on a pure federal basis and even on both a raw dollar AND per capita basis.
The rats offer NOTHING for me. But if the GOP is just going to punish and crap on me?
Why should I bother? I live in my urban hellhole because I like to go to the symphony, I like to attend a Cubs/Bears game, and yeah - much as I generally lean towards a dipped, both, cheesy beef, I also love a good Kitfo (raw, spicy beef you eat with your hands. Don’t call me a vegetarian).
I don’t think any of that makes me “better” than anyone; I don’t think it makes me “elite”.
But this crap? It needs to stop.
Principled conservatism is a gift from God. And this kind of stupid tribal nonsense? It only hurts.
Why should I bother? I live in my urban hellhole because I like to go to the symphony, I like to attend a Cubs/Bears game, and yeah - much as I generally lean towards a dipped, both, cheesy beef, I also love a good Kitfo (raw, spicy beef you eat with your hands. Don’t call me a vegetarian).
Go White Sox!
“ They would nuke LA because it is an important target versus Texas which they would avoid because they do not want to kill muslims”
Oh. They’ll kill whomever
People need to get more familiar with Islam
Heh, well...
My working theory is that if the Brewers finally win a WS, then whatever deal they have made with the devil will have run its course and maybe they’ll return to earth in 2027.
There are probably more Iranians in the Los Angeles area than in any city outside of Iran.
“There are probably more Iranians in the Los Angeles area than in any city outside of Iran.”
Not to mention all of them hate the regime running Iran
A nuke no.open bioweapon testing range hell yeah
Yes 🙂↕️🙂↕️
Go away, re-tread troll.
Nope. Your feels don’t override others feelings.
I have to put up with snark about Texas all the time.
Plus SEC idiots who throw shade at UT.
Love it’d when city folks from blue states and cities were cheering the deaths of little girls cause Texas is a red state.
They want us dead or incarcerated.
Cities are good for only thing, medical care.
Cause Obama, may he rest in Hell, destroyed small communities hospitals.
So suck it up.
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