Posted on 08/21/2025 8:36:31 PM PDT by Cronos
The fifties are when retirement gets determined. Not financially—most boomers figured that out—but existentially. It's when patterns solidify, relationships either deepen or atrophy, identity either expands or calcifies around a job title.
1. They let their entire identity collapse into their job title
2. They believed retirement was a reward rather than a transition. You can't flip a switch from workaholic to fulfilled retiree.
3. They stopped making new friends Somewhere in their fifties, they closed the friend roster. The social circle became fixed—college buddies, work colleagues, couple friends from the kids' childhood. No new applications accepted.
4. They ignored their health until it was crisis management The fifties send bodily invoices for decades of neglect. But instead of paying attention, many worked harder, ignoring the check engine light. The cruel irony: the fifties are the last decade when you can build reserves rather than just slow depletion.
5. They avoided difficult conversations with their spouse Parallel lives seemed sustainable in their fifties. She had book club; he had golf. They'd "reconnect in retirement."The gray divorce rate has doubled since 1990, largely driven by couples discovering their marriage was held together by busy schedules, not connection.
6. They dismissed therapy as weakness
7. They abandoned learning "I'm too old for new things," became their fifties refrain, usually about technology but eventually everything. They stopped reading challenging books. They stopped being curious.
8. They never developed interests that weren't productive Every hobby had purpose. Golf for networking. Reading for professional development. Nothing for joy.
9. They ignored their changing relationship with their children
10. They thought money would solve everything
(Excerpt) Read more at vegoutmag.com ...
GTO pics, please!
I’m 62.
I really enjoy my job, travel a lot at it but the moment I quit is the moment I quit. I get along with most of my colleagues but I don’t really consider them friends because I know that when I do retire, that will be the last time I see any of them.
We have a rather tight group of friends.
While we have some separate interests, we also have shared interests.
While it’s not quite a Unimog, we just bought a rooftop tent overlanding rig and have been quite busy with that. As of last week, we’ve been in 28 states since we got it in late October. That’s lots of road time together and enjoying it.
#2 is real
I’m 70 and work full time as a physician. My wife is 67 and works full time as physician with me in same practice. We go to church weekly and she goes more sometimes. 3 of 5 kids with grandchildren live in town. College football starts tomorrow and is my favorite thing outside movies. Piddle in yard, too. Life is good. Can’t say much about retirement because I haven’t but to each their own.
I don’t do therapy because of the Statute of limitations.
I struggle with retirement so much I went back to work. I punched out again at the end of July. I go the gym every day. I read every day. I have to give myself permission to do things, to go places.
Great job summarizing the article!
You can read the title and see in your summary what the mistakes are.
If only more FReepers knew how to post well!
🏆
Agreed, especially 6. They dismissed therapy as weakness.
Flushing life down the drain
😁
The author could have shortened the article considerably by simply saying “They did every thing possible wrong”. Geez.
I don’t resonate with any of those items. Guy just made up a bunch of stuff to get an article published.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Agree
What is missing ?
The Holy Scriptures
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Good post. I often ask fellow believers where in the Bible does it say man can/ should “retire”?
I retired in April. Now I’m wondering how the heck did I ever get anything done when I was working?! Worked in the field of lasers, DOD contractors since 1978 when Iwas 21. Almost exclusively laser rangefinder target designators on Apache helicopters, F-18 Hornets and hand held systems. It was a fulfilling and nice career. My financial advisor saved the day in 2011 when I was laid off after 33 years. So financially we’re set. But after only 4 months of retirement I still feel like there is something I should be doing that I’m not. And losing track of what day it is is really a thing. I don’t think I’ll ever get another job but I do intend to volunteer to help people at church.
I retired at age 31. Burned out.
Returned to the university for more education, changed careers and retired again at 48.. (divorce motivated it)..
At 68, I’m busier than ever. Still at the University, doing research, and doing lectures and workshops. But on my schedule.
Thus the screen name Tired & Retired. I’ve had it here since 2001. (Had another name earlier from the Clinton years, but didn’t post)
Yep, what is this a Good Housekeeping or Vanity Fair mag?
I tried that. Intermittent work. It morphed into a full time job; a couple of promotions.
Are you studying from books or an online class? I used HamTestOnline.com to study for all three tests and passed with flying colors. Took a two year break between General and Extra because I was having too much fun making contacts world wide (with just 100W and a wire). Good luck and 73.
“7. They abandoned learning
“I’m too old for new things,” became their fifties refrain, usually about technology but eventually everything. They stopped reading challenging books. They stopped being curious.”
I started reviewing the list and do not have many acquaintances that this one applies to. I tend to expand my horizons in so many directions that I often neglect already established rewarding past times, hobbies, and learning opportunities. My curiosity level has definitely increased since retirement.
But the article is about Boomers who are miserable in retirement which is definitely not me or very many others that I know.
In corporate America today, nobody is allowed to succeed without ceding power to a power base, a posse which controls a segment of the supply chain. They think they are important, but at some point, usually 50+ years old, they find out their slot is the only entity with importance, and that someone else’s picture looks better there.
Thanks for the reply. I could have easily retired years ago, but choosed to keep working. Why? I enjoy spreading His word at work, there is something satisfying about discussing God with unbelieving co workers….and yes that has led to a few HR visits.
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