Posted on 07/14/2025 2:08:38 PM PDT by DFG
Minot Air Force Base in North Dakota, where some of the nation's nuclear arsenal is stored and the bombers capable of delivering it are stationed, is facing a threat the military may not be equipped to defeat.
Squirrels.
Yes, squirrels.
Minot AFB is under siege by thousands of Richardson Ground Squirrels, a.k.a. "Dakrats."
The ground squirrels have been a problem for the base for years, mostly because the base tries to keep the animal's natural predators out. The foxes, coyotes, and badgers stay outside the fence, while the Air Force's BASH team scares off the hawks and eagles to minimize bird strikes during takeoff and landing.
This means the squirrels inside the base perimeter reproduce like crazy.
Their burrowing undermines infrastructure like runways and buildings, resulting in lots of taxpayer money spent on repairs. The furry invaders can also carry fun diseases like bubonic plague.
Leadership at the base announced a new plan for clearing out the threat.
Using traps to remove the squirrels is pretty much the same strategy they've used for decades. There are poisons that can kill them, but no legal poisons that wouldn't also kill people.
They could hunt them, but can you imagine the panic and/or accidents that might ensue with a bunch of people firing rifles everywhere on a military base.
Airman 1st Class Josh W. Strickland wrote in 2019: 'One lone intruder. No problem. Ten thousand intruders is a different story entirely, especially when they are rodents.'
The good news?
If worse comes to worst, Minot AFB does have one option readily available to defeat the squirrels once and for all.
It houses 26 B-52 bombers capable of carrying nuclear weapons and 150 Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles.
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Target rich environment.
All personnel report for small arms training....
I know they are vermin, and I have to battle them, but...there is something about squirrels that I admire.
They often remind me of...me.
If they unlock the code, they’re gonna launch!!!
This must make for a very distracting environment for base personnel who suffer from ADH...
“Look! A Squirrel!”
Obviously Chinese agents, sent by Chairman Xi.
Maybe they should give YouTuber Squirrels at the Window a call.
I love that channel...
Hahahahahahaha
Just hang a few bird feeders.
I have two small drones that are great for harassing the squirrels.
Invite the foxes and hawks onto the base. By chasing them all away you create a safe haven for the squirrels. I once worked for a power plant well outside of town. It had a fenced land area of a couple of hundred acres. There were some breaks in the fence. During hunting season driving around the grounds I saw large numbers of deer. The week hunting season closed the deer left the grounds.
The CO2 from the dry ice sinks all the way to the bottom of the burrow.
I used to love shooting the Thompson ground squirrels we have here in Eastern Washington.
here is my solution: Recruit all the base family children 12-18 and put them through hunter’s education and 6 weeks of .22 caliber rifle training. The assign a rifle and ammunition and to work shifts covering a specific zone. Pay a bounty for all kills. It would be quite fun.
Cats would take care of them.
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