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UK Version Of Apple Watch Will Warn When Your Heart Rate Reacts Inappropriately To A Racist Meme
Babylon Bee ^ | 02/24/2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 02/24/2025 12:35:53 PM PST by DFG

LONDON — Tech consumers across the pond were recently startled to learn that the Apple Watch being sold in the UK would now warn when wearers' heart rates react inappropriately to a racist meme.

According to Apple, the smartwatch will monitor your biometrics simultaneously with your meme consumption and issue warnings any time you view a meme determined to be racist without a proper response of anti-racist rage and white guilt.

The watch will then report its findings to the local authorities.

"I accidentally scrolled past a meme of Pepe the Frog and my watch immediately started sending me notifications," complained Edward Faulkes, a British citizen. "Then a few days later, I saw a depiction of the Prophet Mohammed and my watch called the fuzz to pay me a visit."

"I'm not entirely sure I like this product."

Despite the odd new feature several tech reviewers have given the update positive reviews, stating that the watch is still an excellent choice for sleep monitoring, running, and blood-oxygen level measuring.

At publishing time, Apple had further added a feature to remind users to pray five times per day facing Mecca.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2025/feb/07/uk-confronts-apple-with-demand-for-cloud-backdoor-to-users-encrypted-data
1 posted on 02/24/2025 12:35:53 PM PST by DFG
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To: All

Edward Faulkes, a British citizen complained, “I glanced at a depiction
of the Prophet Mohammed and my watch called the fuzz to pay me a visit.”


2 posted on 02/24/2025 12:43:33 PM PST by Liz
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To: DFG

The Bee makes my heart wiggle. Sometimes I can’t tell if it’s a real story, or a joke. I have to double-check the source before dying. 😅


3 posted on 02/24/2025 12:45:53 PM PST by catbertz
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To: All

According to Apple, the smartwatch will monitor your biometrics
simultaneously with your meme consumption.

If at any time you view a meme determined to be racist and you do not display a proper response——such as visible anti-racist rage and white guilt, warnings will be issued to the proper authorities.


4 posted on 02/24/2025 12:49:06 PM PST by Liz
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To: DFG

I know of such people who would happily pay for that kind of Free Nagging. No thanks.


5 posted on 02/24/2025 12:50:36 PM PST by lee martell
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To: DFG

Sounds like Apple, all right.

Never could use their stuff.


6 posted on 02/24/2025 12:53:54 PM PST by doorgunner69 (Your oath of enlistment has no expiration date)
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To: DFG
Would this be considered a "heartcrime"?

HT to George Orwell...

7 posted on 02/24/2025 3:48:55 PM PST by ZOOKER
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