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FEMA Out of Money for Hurricane Aid [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 6 October 2022 | John Semmens

Posted on 10/08/2024 10:58:20 AM PDT by John Semmens

Four months ago Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas bragged that "the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) is tremendously prepared. This is what we do, this is what they do, and the key here is to also make sure the communities who are potentially impacted are prepared as well."

Well, Hurricane Helene has devastated huge swaths of the country's southeast. Over 200 people were killed. Towns and roads were washed away. Many survivors are cut off from water and electricity. Now, Mayorkas says "FEMA does not have the funds needed because $640 million was spent providing shelter for non-citizen migrants in Denver, Washington DC; Chicago, Philadelphia, and many other cities."

The Secretary cited "equity" as the justification for diverting the money intended for weather emergencies. "Look, harsh as it may seem to an American caught in the path of Hurricane Helene, these immigrants are in greater need. Most have come to our country with little more than the clothes they wear. If we hadn't fed and housed them their entire journey to our land of opportunity would've been wasted. Folks in the path of the hurricane are far better off. They have jobs, own homes, have food in the frige, and money in the bank. They have friends and neighbors who will help them. Eventually, things will get back to normal. Folks just need to be patient."

Tech billionaire Elon Musk has funded relief efforts in the affected states--setting up helicopter landing zones and deploying more than 300 Starlinks to aid communications. His employees in the area report "FEMA is not merely failing to adequately help people in trouble, but is actively blocking citizens who try to help, seizing goods and services these citizens are trying to donate and stashing them away."

Mayorkas explained that "these so-called citizen Good Samaritans aren't following DEI guidelines. They're just giving aid without regard to race, sex or gender identity. Seizing these donations so they can be properly redistributed is sound public policy. We urge all well-intended people to do as they are told by government officials and not to trust anything they don't hear directly from government sources or approved media outlets."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,543188.0.html


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Weather
KEYWORDS: dei; migrants; musk; satire

1 posted on 10/08/2024 10:58:20 AM PDT by John Semmens
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