Posted on 10/22/2023 10:05:37 AM PDT by John Semmens
This week a rocket landed in the parking lot of a hospital in Gaza killing hundreds of non-combatants. The New York Times immediately spread Hamas' assertion that Israel was responsible. Others like the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, CBS, MSNBC, Rueters, CNN, Associated Press, and BBC did the same. These reports inspired violent protests in various Muslim countries throughout the Middle East. Audio and video evidence has since confirmed that the rocket originated from a Hamas unit trying to fire it into Israel.
Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-Mich) dismissed the evidence and blamed Israel's "apartheid policies for driving Hamas to take desperate measures to defend Palestinian freedom" and the Biden Administration "for supplying faulty weapons to these freedom fighters. The fact is that Jews continue to illegally occupy parts of Palestine. Their armed forces are too powerful to successfully attack. Going after soft targets is the only viable option in this lopsided asymmetrical warfare the people of Palestine have been forced into."
She went on to praise "Hamas' innovative exploitation of the work permit program Israel established for Gaza residents. The expectation was that the economic benefits from gainful employment would diminish animosity toward the Jewish occupiers. But the intelligence gathered by frequent trips to work inside Israel made it easier to maximize the number of Jews that could be exterminated by a quick surprise strike."
A stunned Secretary of State Tony Blinken said "we urged Israel to improve the lives of Palestinians by issuing thousands of work permits to Gaza residents. We never thought that the Palestinians would literally bite the hand that feeds them. Now we look like idiots. Our only option for rallying after this blunder is to send another $60 billion in aid to Ukraine in the hope that a flare up in their battle with Russia can knock the whole Gaza/Israel thing out of the headlines."
A bumbling President Biden acknowledged Israel's innocence in the hospital attack, but lamented the poor marksmanship of the Hamas rocket-launch crew, saying "these guys gotta learn how to shoot straight. If it weren't for their incompetence those rockets would've landed in Israel."
In related news, the US Department of Homeland Security has hired Nejwa Ali, a former Palestinian Liberation Organization (PLO) spokesperson, to help determine which Palestinians will be allowed to come to America as "asylum seekers." Her most recent unofficial communication was a Facebook post praising the Hamas attack with the words "F*** Israel, the government, and its military. Are you ready for your downfall?"
If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...
https://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,515593.0.html
One of Yasir Arafat’s boyz is going to invite Muslim terrorists into America to compete with the Venezuelans and Mexicans for pricey hotel rooms, food stamps and fun money to throw around. America! You may want to wake up now. Yellowstone is getting ready to close for the winter. The dempanic is over and we’re all getting severely screwed by the Dung Beetle Party.
The gang that couldn’t shoot straight:
<><>Hamas trying to fire into Israel hits a hospital parking lot in Gaza.
<><>An IDF tank accidentally fires, hits an Egyptian military post near the Kerem Shalom border.
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