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Government Clarifies Alert Message Reading 'THE ARACHNIDS ARE HERE, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!' Just A Test
Babylon Bee ^ | 10/04/2023 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 10/04/2023 11:55:34 AM PDT by DFG

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To: DFG

Four legs good, two legs bad, eight legs awesome. Also pointy drippy fangs...


21 posted on 10/04/2023 12:20:57 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: DFG

The real one was worse.

"Presidential Alert -- BIDEN IS PRESIDENT -- RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!"

22 posted on 10/04/2023 12:23:43 PM PDT by Songcraft
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To: Billthedrill

Death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth!
-Tim (as some call him) the Enchanter


23 posted on 10/04/2023 12:24:36 PM PDT by NorthMountain (... the right of the peopIe to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: Red Badger

Exactly, I couldn’t do that type of work sober, much less on drugs.

All the web comes out of an animal that often times is no bigger than a pencil eraser.


24 posted on 10/04/2023 12:28:36 PM PDT by srmanuel
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To: DFG

25 posted on 10/04/2023 12:30:27 PM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion, or satire, or both.)
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To: DFG

I was at the Sirloin Stockade salad bar when everyone’s phones sounded the alert.
Folks said it would be a mind control signal, but I didn’t notice any effects.
Thank you my lord and savior comrade President Joe Biden! 🥹🤪


26 posted on 10/04/2023 12:38:51 PM PDT by Dalberg-Acton
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To: 9422WMR

I told my sister it would happen at 11:20AM Commiefornia time(She’s pregnant so I didnt want some big noise to freak her out) and of course it came two minutes early, she didnt care, noise didnt bother her. I get these stupid alerts all the time even when it has nothing to do with my area.


27 posted on 10/04/2023 12:45:29 PM PDT by Sarah Barracuda
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To: DFG

You want bugs? I recommend the movie “Infestation”. Funny stuff.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1020543/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0_tt_8_nm_0_q_infestation

A slacker awakes to find himself weak and wrapped in a webbing; after realizing that the world has been taken over by giant alien insects, he wakes a ragtag group of strangers and together they fight for survival.


28 posted on 10/04/2023 1:36:24 PM PDT by dynachrome (War does not determine who is right, but who is left.)
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To: Red Badger

Ok, what is koffein?


29 posted on 10/04/2023 1:44:45 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (Keep America Beautiful by keeping Canadian Trash Out. Deport Jennifer Granholm!)
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To: Bounced2X
What a classic!


30 posted on 10/04/2023 2:37:51 PM PDT by Sicon ("All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others." - G. Orwell>)
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To: Sicon
What a classic!

You bet! It's a real toss-up for my favorite character.. ;O).


31 posted on 10/04/2023 3:03:25 PM PDT by Bounced2X (Boomer - I survived childhood with no bike helmet.)
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To: Bounced2X

Yes, very tough. Better take both!


32 posted on 10/04/2023 4:11:52 PM PDT by Sicon ("All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others." - G. Orwell>)
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To: Sicon
Yes, very tough. Better take both!

By your command! ;O)

33 posted on 10/04/2023 4:24:46 PM PDT by Bounced2X (Boomer - I survived childhood with no bike helmet.)
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To: KarlInOhio

“Press 2 for Ingles”


34 posted on 10/04/2023 6:21:46 PM PDT by Max in Utah (A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within.)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

Caffeine................


35 posted on 10/05/2023 5:04:55 AM PDT by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegal aliens are put up in hotels.....................)
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