Precautions
Posted on 08/23/2023 4:47:52 PM PDT by shadowlands1960
U.S. — People with unattractive faces celebrated this week as locales and business across the nation began reinstituting mask mandates.
"Finally!" said local schlub Stan Reasons. "It will be so nice to finally cover my unsightly mug."
The sporadic return of mask mandates has followed a recent uptick in COVID cases due to a mild but contagious variant. "I'm not worried about COVID, I'm just worried about my hideous face," said Ben Reynolds. "This strain is like a common cold. I haze zero concern about catching it - my only concern is catching sight of my ghastly face in a mirror."
Excitement spread quickly across the ugly community as word spread of the renewed masking measures. "What a gift," said Mr. Reasons. "We're all back on a level playing field, face-wise. I can pose for a picture and once again know that my face will be totally covered by surgical grade polypropylene."
At publishing time, sources report that Rutger's mask mandate had instantly transformed it into the number one college for ugly people.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Thanks Bee!
Is it really satire when it is true? Earlier today, I saw rather large woman at a traffic light, alone in her car with a mask on. I could only assume she was ugly.
ROFL!!!
They never went away where I am. Masked young men all over, riding bikes outside even. Shady.
Or that she was even a real biological woman to begin with.
I teach adult education, and during the mask mandate I had no idea what my students looked like. When the mandate went away, I had to start all over again with matching names and faces. The Bee might be on to something here.
lol!!
This makes me remember Rush’s spiel on Ugli-Americans, they’re ugly but they don’t know it. 😂😂
LOL!
I’d like to see masks come back because I’m old but I still like blowing a sweet young thing a kiss and with the mask she won’t slap the sh*t out of me.
Have to admit, I saved money on lip products for those two years.
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