Two Professors Fired [semi-satire]

Florida State University criminology professor Eric Stewart built a career around the premise that systemic racism has warped law enforcement. He wrote many papers purporting to prove this point. So far, six of those published in major academic journals like Criminology and Law and Society Review have been fully retracted because of data that was fake or so bad that the papers should not have been published.

Florida State University in Tallahassee, Provost James Clark terminated the tenured professor saying "I do not see how you can teach our students to be ethical researchers or how the results of future research projects conducted by you could be deemed trustworthy."

Stewart called his dismissal "as thorough a demonstration of the validity of my systemic racist hypothesis as I could have hoped for."

Meanwhile in San Antonio, Texas, St. Philip's College professor Dr. Johnson Varkey was fired for teaching that "biological sex is determined by chromosomes X and Y. Persons with both an X and Y chromosome are male. Those with two X chromosomes are female. In response to this lesson, a few students walked out of his class and filed a complaint claiming that Varkey's teaching "pushed beyond the bounds of academic freedom with personal opinions that were offensive to many individuals in the classroom."

St. Philip's College President Idonna Nuffin defended the firing saying, "the idea that chromosomes determine one's sex is outdated. The current scientific consensus is that sex is more complicated. Whether a person has an XY combo or an XX combo cannot be said to definitively determine whether that person is male or female. One can have the body parts most commonly associated with one sex, but may, in fact be the opposite sex. Our younger faculty understand this, but the elderly Dr. Varkey obviously has not kept up to date with the advances in our knowledge made in the past few years. It would be malpractice for us to allow him to impose his erroneous opinions on innocent minds."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

1 posted on 08/09/2023 12:42:48 PM PDT by John Semmens

FWIW: St. Philip’s college is a public HSBC. Probably few white lib Karens who were complaining about being offended.

2 posted on 08/09/2023 12:50:03 PM PDT by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)

Indeed.

3 posted on 08/09/2023 1:01:51 PM PDT by No name given (Anonymous is who you’ll know me as )

Nailed it!

4 posted on 08/09/2023 1:13:14 PM PDT by Silentgypsy (In my defense, I was left unsupervised.)

Idonna Nuffin is brainwashed lost person. Do not send your kids to that school, or if you are a student...get out of that school. Cite the attack against objective truth as the reason. Expect incompetent work from people trained there.

5 posted on 08/09/2023 1:47:26 PM PDT by Getready (Wisdom is more valuable than gold and harder to find.)

…”St. Philip’s College President Idonna Nuffin “ …
Hoping this person’s middle name is Dew.

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