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Chicago Mayor Warns That If Local Walmart Locations Close People Will Have Fewer Places To Shoplift
Babylon Bee ^
| 4/17/23
| Staff
Posted on 04/17/2023 1:06:51 PM PDT by Its All Over Except ...
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To: Its All Over Except ...
2
posted on
04/17/2023 1:08:27 PM PDT
by
Magnum44
(...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
To: Its All Over Except ...
3
posted on
04/17/2023 1:08:57 PM PDT
by
nutmeg
To: Magnum44
Funny because it’s so true.
4
posted on
04/17/2023 1:09:20 PM PDT
by
1956tbyrd
To: Its All Over Except ...
5
posted on
04/17/2023 1:10:01 PM PDT
by
jjotto
( Blessed are You LORD, who crushes enemies and subdues the wicked.)
To: Its All Over Except ...
Stop delivering food to the city.
6
posted on
04/17/2023 1:13:45 PM PDT
by
ComputerGuy
(Heavily-medicated for your protection)
To: Its All Over Except ...
Now they will start spreading out to other areas. People will have to be very careful.
7
posted on
04/17/2023 1:16:58 PM PDT
by
dforest
(All of America has derailed.)
To: Its All Over Except ...
“Citizens of this great city have the fundamental right to steal merchandise in their own communities without resorting to traveling to other neighborhoods”
Well, He has a point... maybe he can get some local tax dollars or Federal grants to help subsidise the effort.
8
posted on
04/17/2023 1:20:53 PM PDT
by
Clutch Martin
("The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right." )
To: Its All Over Except ...
The Babylon Bee is great!
9
posted on
04/17/2023 1:21:41 PM PDT
by
I want the USA back
(No one is assigned sex at birth. One's sex is noted and recorded. My pronouns Haha, hehe, hoho, hoo )
To: Its All Over Except ...
I do wonder how the Mayor’s office would react if the shoplifting were to move to City Hall.
10
posted on
04/17/2023 1:23:25 PM PDT
by
asinclair
(What doesn't kill you makes you stronger)
To: Its All Over Except ...
The Babylon Bee is funnier than every time my ex-mother-in-law said she was gonna diet!
11
posted on
04/17/2023 1:24:04 PM PDT
by
Tell It Right
(1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
To: Clutch Martin
12
posted on
04/17/2023 1:25:16 PM PDT
by
Vaquero
(Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you. )
To: dforest
“Now they will start spreading out to other areas. People will have to be very careful.”
SPJNK.
13
posted on
04/17/2023 1:26:00 PM PDT
by
Carriage Hill
(A society grows great when old men plant trees, in whose shade they know they will never sit.)
To: Its All Over Except ...
The best thing to do about it is to have the city's social workers deliver maps to all the citizens and wayfarers in Chicago, directing them to the mayoral mansion, where they can find many alternative items to purloin.
(Note to all well-meaning posters -- BB recognized!)
To: Its All Over Except ...
Captain Obvious strikes again.
15
posted on
04/17/2023 1:28:00 PM PDT
by
BillT
(If you can not stand behind our military, you might as well stand in front of them!)
I thought the Bee was satire. When did they start doing hard news?
16
posted on
04/17/2023 1:30:04 PM PDT
by
dsrtsage
( Complexity is just simple lacking imagination)
To: Its All Over Except ...
To: Its All Over Except ...
Sounds pretty much like something the new Mayor would say.
To: Its All Over Except ...
Walmart has concluded that ChIraq has no ability to produce and hence, no needs for Walmart to meet there.
19
posted on
04/17/2023 1:41:11 PM PDT
by
Paladin2
To: Carriage Hill
Oh, it is the Bee. What I said still holds true.
20
posted on
04/17/2023 1:46:07 PM PDT
by
dforest
(All of America has derailed.)
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