Biden Says Blacks Who Don't Support him "Ain't Black" [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 May 2020 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

In an interview on the "Breakfast Club" Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden told host Charlamagne Tha God that "if you have a problem figuring out whether you're for me or Trump, then you ain't black." Biden's statement was in response to Charlemagne's attempt to go over the originally allotted 20 minutes set aside for the interview by pleading "we've got more questions."

While Biden's assertion that skin color determines political ideology reeks of racism, Fox News commentator, and former spokesperson for the State Department under President Barack Obama, Marie Harf insisted "it definitely was not racist. We all say things on television or radio interviews that maybe we would like to take back. I think voters will give him a chance to take it back."

Sen. Tim Scott (R-SC) is not inclined to let Biden off-the-hook, saying "this is the most condescending and arrogant comment toward the black community I have ever heard. As a black man I am more than my skin color. I can think for myself and make my own judgments. Biden sponsored a crime bill in the 1990s that jailed more African-American males than any other legislation. President Trump supported and signed legislation to undo the injustices spawned by Biden's bill. I think a black man assessing these events can decide for himself which man to vote for as president."

Upon reflection, Biden spoke in his own defense, pointing out "that Delaware was a slave state. I always had to keep that fact in mind when I was a Senator. I had to represent all the people of Delaware as I weighed which bills deserved my support. I recognize that this led to some zigging and zagging across the political spectrum. Sometimes I voted for bigger welfare benefits. Sometimes I voted to crackdown on crime. I think the fact that I was repeatedly reelected indicates that I did a pretty good job of balancing the competing interests of all the races in my state for more than 30 years."

James Carville, former campaign adviser to President Bill Clinton, predicted that "Joe will rise above this kerfuffle and whip Trump's fat ass in November. The Republicans' attempt to treat blacks as individuals who can think independently will fall flat. Democrats are the ones who've delivered the goods. We're the Party that has rescued tens of millions from wage-slavery by providing the material benefits that have enabled them to choose an alternative lifestyle without being forced to work for it."

In related news, The Nation columnist Katha Pollitt announced that she "would vote for Joe Biden if he boiled babies and ate them." She defended her callous opinion by calling eating babies "beneficial to the environment. It would contribute to the reduction of the human population and utilize an economical method of disposing of the unneeded human protein if more of us added this food to our diet. Other animals could be reprieved and land used for farming returned to its natural uncultivated condition."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/283403-2020-05-23-semi-news-semi-satire-may-24-2020-edition.htm

[John Semmens]

ping

[rfp1234]

What does Slow Joe say to fake blacks like Shaun Smith or that curly haired white woman (Rachel Dolezal) who thinks she’s black?

[cpdiii]

Due to Ancestry Dot Com I have discovered I am slightly less than 1% black.

Does that mean I must vote for Slow Joe Biden ?????

Relative to my black blood it is real. I found it rather amusing.

My real blood is 100% USA American, if one is this all else is of no importance. A USA American can be any color so long as he or she understands the history of our great nation and wants to be a part of the history and future of our great nation.

[philman_36]

A never ending muse for you, isn’t he! LOL

[GOPJ]

“James Carville, former campaign adviser to President Bill Clinton, predicted that “Joe will rise above this kerfuffle... The Republicans’ attempt to treat blacks as individuals who can think independently will fall flat... “

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Without White Liberal Elites all these black people would be back in chains. They damn well better be grateful... /s

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EYqArfRWoA4YsVV?format=jpg&name=small

[Disambiguator]

I’m waiting for Palmetto State Armory to come out with another Joe Biden inspired AR lower receiver for this incident. The last one came out of the confrontation he had with that auto worker (the “Angry Joe” AR-14).

[GOYAKLA]

Slobbring Joe, preaches shotguns! Maybe some company will render us a SJ-12.

[EagleUSA]

More RAT desperation. Watch for the cheating and fraud. It will be coming in November.

[Seaplaner]

Wray brushed aside assertions that his review was a duplication of efforts already underway at the direction of Attorney General William Barr, pointing out "that to my way of thinking, Barr is an outsider whose loyalties lie elsewhere. He is, after all, the one who blocked our slam dunk case against Flynn. Because of his intervention, instead of another successful prosecution the FBI is looking incompetent or worse. We need our own internal and confidential process for determining how to avert similar outcomes in the future."

Satire? Maybe I need to look for it again.

Thanks, John, for another fine and info-packed column.

Ever thought of writing a daily column?

.