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Dems Condemn Killing of Iranian Terrorists [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 Jan 2020 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/05/2020 10:09:45 AM PST by John Semmens

Democratic presidential candidates hastened to condemn President Trump for authorizing the military strike that killed Iranian Quds Force commander Qasem Soleimani and Kataib Hezbollah leader Abu Mahdi al-Mohandes. Despite the fact that these men have been active in attacks that have killed hundreds of Americans and thousands of others in the Middle East region, Democrats who have spoken out on this issue were unanimous in blaming Trump for "destabilizing the region."

Sen. Amy Klobuchar (Minn) called the strike "a violent and inappropriate solution. It's akin to urging an abused spouse to arm herself against her abuser when the proper response is to obtain an order of protection. When I am president one of my first acts will be to petition the UN to grant us an order of protection against people like Soleimani. That will give us a legal way of responding to this threat. The prospect of being taken to court for disregarding such an order will be our deterrent against terrorists everywhere."

Sen. Elizabeth Warren likened the strike on Soleimani to "the murder of Crazy Horse in 1877 by US troops after he led his tribe in the defeat of General Custer at the Little Big Horn the year before. The pain my people suffered for his death is now being repeated among the Iranians whose beloved General was murdered by Trump's minions."

Former Vice-President Joe Biden characterized the strike as "a betrayal of the policy laid down by President Obama. All the gains made by the funds we released to Iran are now endangered. Iranian freedom fighters are now without their most skilled tactician. The Iranian people are weeping for the lost of their most revered military leader. I shudder to think of what will come next."

Non-presidential candidates Sen. Chuck Schumer (NY) and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (Calif) complained that "we were not given advanced notice of this strike. This prevented us from leaking the plan to the media and possibly saving the life of this high-ranking Iranian official."

Sen. Chris Murphy (Conn), who had previously criticized Trump for "allowing our Iraq Embassy to be attacked," lamented that "my good friend of so many years had to pay with his life for Trump's failure to protect our Embassy. What I had hoped for in my earlier criticism was an action along the lines laid out by my Senate colleague Amy Klobuchar."

Meanwhile, dissidents, feminists and secularists living under undemocratic regimes in Iran, Iraq, Syria and Lebanon have been tweeting their gratitude for the US action "against the prime enforcer of our oppression."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=387706.0


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Military/Veterans; Politics
KEYWORDS: democrats; satire; terrorists; trump

1 posted on 01/05/2020 10:09:45 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

2 posted on 01/05/2020 10:18:10 AM PST by Bon mots
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To: John Semmens

None of those condemnations are in the least bit implausible. I wouldn’t put any of it past the Dems.


3 posted on 01/05/2020 10:19:36 AM PST by Eleutheria5 ("SHUT UP!" he explained.)
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To: John Semmens

Spot on. As always.


4 posted on 01/05/2020 10:36:29 AM PST by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire. Or both.)
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To: John Semmens

Democrats are unAmerican!


5 posted on 01/05/2020 3:06:37 PM PST by maxwellsmart_agent
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