I think all he really has to do is change political parties. Just announce that he is a Democrat and call for Trump’s assassination — bingo, all charges dropped.
9) Deport the housekeeper who copied any of those emails.
10) Destroy your mistress’s computer. And her husband’s.
11) Another forethought, get FBI files and dirt on EVERYONE.
Hire Bill Clinton to give a speech at double his normal fee and order 10,000 copies of Hillary’s book: “Close, But no Banana” (or whatever it is called).
Your blog sucks.
Here.
**********
This is exactly how Paul Manafort can get out of trouble. He’ll want to see this. TRUST ME – this is going to work.
How Paul Manafort Can Walk Away From All Charges
1) OK, so first, delete every single email you have that has to do with this. If you’re hitting around 33,000 you know you’re doing good work. If anyone asks, just tell them you had pictures of your grand kids and yoga instructions and wanted to clear them out. Did you do that? Ok good.
2) Second, send one of your people to Reddit and ask them how to permanently and irreversibly destroy electronic evidence. Those Reddit people are super smart and should be able to help you out. In case they don’t, here’s a pro-tip- there’s this cloth or something, called Bleachbit that will get rid of everything on your hard drive so no one can recover anything.
3) Next – how many cell phones do you have? You’re about to have 0 – smash those little bastrds with a hammer and destroy them.
4) This next part you may have needed some vision for, but was there anyone who helped you get away with stuff in the 90s? Like a lawyer who cleared you of a number of scandals as you were moving up the political ladder? If so, make that guy the FBI Director. Trust me, it’ll come in handy later.
5) While you’ve got that going on, have your spouse take a little trip down to the airport and sit down with the DOJ head on the tarmac of their plane. Obviously talk about how you’re gonna get out of this, but if anyone asks, make sure to tell them you were checking in on their grandkids.
6) OK, so here’s the long, drawn out part. Those jerks in Congress are probably going to call you in for a bunch of hearings. I have an industry secret though… just say you can’t remember anything! Not recalling something is the easiest way for people to never look into your past again cause if you can’t remember it, it didn’t happen! If things are taking too long, just ask them what difference, at this point, does it make and shrug it off. Make sure to look really bored. They know you’re an important person so they’ll leave you alone after that.
7) OK, remember that FBI Director I mentioned before? Cool… basically since y’all have been good friends for a long time, that guy is gonna clear you of all charges. He’ll say that there was no evidence that you acted with ‘necessary criminal intent’. He might get fired for it but so what? He owes you, and big time.
8) Lastly, it will help if you have a satanic child sex slave ring and Pedophile that’s heavily entrenched in the entertainment industry. I know that sounds weird, but they take care of their own like you were their own children. Only downside is they think they’re hot sh*t, but don’t let it get to you.
Cool! So at this point you’re off scot-free! Lay low for a couple months, and then get back on the scene. Let someone pay you a cool 12 million for your book and go on a Costco book tour. The people will love you for it. The best part in all this? You and your friends are perfectly fine. This was just a temporary setback, and now you and all your followers can say you were cleared for literally everything illegal that you did. Hell, make a couple jokes about it at press conferences! You deserve it.
Ok, that about wraps it up. Don’t worry – I’ll invoice you. Just drop off the check next time I hire you to come speak at one of my charity events. Better yet… skip the invoice. I have some stuff I want to pass through Congress and I know if I give enough money to you… I mean, your “nonprofit” (LOL) that I’ll get what I want.
"Robert S. Mueller III [was appointed] to serve as Special Counsel to oversee the previously-confirmed FBI investigation of Russian government efforts to influence the 2016 presidential election and related matters." (DOJ Press Release)
These indictments have NOTHING to do with "Russian government efforts to influence the 2016 presidential election and related matters," and so Mueller has overstepped his authority and poisoned the well should Manafort et al. be legitimately charged in the future.
ML/NJ
I know you don’t read comments (because you don’t care) but your text isn’t framed and folks have to scroll sideways, you have stuff on the left that hides text, and of course other obnoxious stuff happens there.
But then, you’re just a posting bot that sucks the blood of FReeper donations.
All he has to do is say “I never intended to violate any law.”
Should be good to go.
Say “I don’t recall” over and over.
Deleting emails is obstruction of justice.
Very BAD suggestion and will only make things worse.
Unless you are a Democrat...
And do all the above back in June, well in advance of the July raid.
Any truth to the rumor that Manafort was told to dish dirt on President Trump or plan to be indicted on bogus charges?